Doc Noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon it still a disorder if I only cut other people?
←Rate | 11-26-2012 20:01 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just plugged in a USB cord on the first try. Some lucky lady is in for a treat tonight.
←Rate | 10-06-2013 19:27 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet The Kardashians' have a ton of leftover white meat on Thanksgiving.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 14:26 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever seen the Cookie Monsters feet? No. thats diabetes for you.
←Rate | 05-26-2012 13:39 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever you feel powerless, remind yourself that a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water-park.
←Rate | 07-08-2011 23:45 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never gone down on a man, but I'm probably pretty amazing at it from all the times I've stopped soda fizz from overflowing.
←Rate | 11-12-2012 19:53 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its Friday, Anything worth doing is worth doing weird.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 08:37 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
←Rate | 08-06-2014 16:23 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
←Rate | 12-16-2014 06:45 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon When does the Brazilian Pole Dancing Team come on?
←Rate | 07-29-2012 21:27 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just f@rted so hard, my bluetooth rattled and my phone gave me directions to 3 area hospitals
←Rate | 04-01-2013 10:48 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon hoping to be part of a wordless briefcase exchange someday.
←Rate | 05-14-2011 19:12 by doc noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need a better plan of action when my phone rings than throwing it.
←Rate | 08-06-2014 16:26 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon For every time a woman replies "fine" to you, you lose a day off your life.
←Rate | 12-15-2014 20:34 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can tell I'm getting older because I need flaxseed, coffee, fiber supplements, a laptop, an iPod and a smartphone in order to take a poop.
←Rate | 01-04-2012 15:50 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
←Rate | 03-31-2012 08:52 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon When measuring your pen!s, you start from your prostate, right?
←Rate | 10-10-2011 00:21 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Winter trees at sunset have the look of a lonely old man realizing there will be no visitors today.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 17:29 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys do a pretty good impression of a meerkat whenever a pretty girl walks into a crowded bar.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 13:08 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a girl got naked in front of me at this point , I'd probably jerk off out of habit, and fold her in half like my laptop when I'm done.
←Rate | 06-07-2012 20:15 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  



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