Aaron Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The first thing I do when someone introduces themselves to me is forget what their name is.
←Rate | 11-24-2012 20:11 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you say, "9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans," all I hear is, "There's a bear out there who knows how to use matches."
←Rate | 12-14-2011 10:07 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor said I need to workout with dumb-bells. Would any of you like to go jogging with me?
←Rate | 09-04-2011 19:55 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
←Rate | 08-29-2010 22:22 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
←Rate | 08-30-2013 09:16 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought Angry Birds was what I get from other drivers.
←Rate | 06-14-2012 16:48 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon At a four way stop, it's obvious that the vehicle bearing the most duct tape goes first.
←Rate | 02-29-2012 22:51 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time for some nighttime sniffling sneezing coughing aching stuffy head fever I can't feel my lips I think I just peed the bed medicine.
←Rate | 10-04-2010 11:55 by Aaron Comments (2)  


   messageicon I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 14:51 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the checkout person tries to put your toilet paper in a bag, tell them it's 'for here', not 'to go'. Then ask them to hurry.
←Rate | 01-24-2011 23:13 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon My bucket list is just the words "afford things" written in orange crayon on a paper towel.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 18:50 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I'm also wearing a cape.
←Rate | 11-28-2011 16:57 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Big shout-out to slugs! Those little guys are out there everyday, doing all the same stuff as snails but without helmets.
←Rate | 11-24-2012 00:47 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being a lot more reckless these days, ever since I found that 1-UP mushroom.
←Rate | 10-04-2010 11:56 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever become rich and famous, I won't forget my friends. They will be a fond and nostalgic memory.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 18:43 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon My pessimism has never failed me, but I'm sure someday it will.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 13:23 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is the media so negative? Instead of "Polar Bear Kills Alaskan Teen", why not "Alaskan Teen Feeds Starving Polar Bear"?
←Rate | 08-07-2011 19:03 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Found a cigarette butt next to the mousetrap in my room. Like he sat there and thought about it.
←Rate | 02-23-2012 19:18 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the record, you'll need a turntable needle.
←Rate | 04-23-2013 17:54 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my girlfriend's hallucinating. She keeps telling me she's seeing other people.
←Rate | 10-16-2010 10:51 by Aaron Comments (0)  




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