Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 7 of 6292

   messageicon T-Rex shares gender reveal party with friends, Yucatan Peninsula 66 million years ago.
←Rate | 05-25-2022 02:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some of you have never heard the story of the “Little Engine that Could,” and it shows.
←Rate | 05-28-2022 01:37 by Lilly_69 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.
←Rate | 06-13-2022 02:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have now started asking humans to prove they are not a robot.
←Rate | 05-18-2022 21:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Getting offended by something posted on the internet is like choosing to step in dog crap instead of walking around it.
←Rate | 05-28-2022 01:38 by Bobby_220 Comments (0)  

   messageicon All I want to do is go outside, then inside, then outside, then inside. ~ The Dog
←Rate | 05-28-2022 01:41 by Susan_66 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When your landlord finds all your dog collars and leashes, but you don’t have a dog. ~ I’m a kinky girl, I’m a very kinky girl.
←Rate | 05-29-2022 00:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its not that I hate kids, i'm just following the instructions of every medicine bottle in my bathroom cabinet "Keep away from children"
←Rate | 06-13-2022 00:35 by Luka Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’ve spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house, but they still get in.
←Rate | 05-18-2022 00:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon T-shirt is actually short for tyrannosaurus shirt. It's because of the small arms.
←Rate | 05-24-2022 05:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon An empty browser history says more than a full one.
←Rate | 06-03-2022 02:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just got a booty call from life, apparently it still wants to keep screwing me.
←Rate | 06-09-2022 23:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The same people who are candy to our eyes can be poison to our hearts. Study their ingredients before feeding them to your soul.
←Rate | 05-12-2022 01:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Raising a teenager is like having a cat that only comes out to eat and hisses at you whenever you try to be nice to it.
←Rate | 05-31-2022 00:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If she starts drawing shapes on your chest after sex, just get up and leave. A very stupid question is coming.
←Rate | 07-03-2022 06:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Reach ~ as high as you can, and then a little higher. There you will find magic and possibility… and maybe even cookies.
←Rate | 05-12-2022 01:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Date a cat owner. They love something that doesn’t even like them back.
←Rate | 06-03-2022 02:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A patient cured is a customer lost.
←Rate | 06-18-2022 00:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
←Rate | 07-07-2022 00:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You technically have 2 minutes to live, but every time you breathe it restarts the timer.
←Rate | 07-01-2022 01:49 Comments (0)  

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