Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 7 of 6324

You: I’m offended, you can’t say that! Me: Noooo, I can, I did, and I probably will again.
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01-09-2023 03:00
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Tried being normal once, it was the most boring ten minutes of my life.
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01-13-2023 02:50
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You’re the reason God created the middle finger.
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01-19-2023 04:10
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There are some incredibly dumb people in this world. Thank you for helping me understand that.
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01-23-2023 03:49
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My favorite queso is the one you keep around for emergencies, just in queso.
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01-09-2023 03:08
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God Bless Rednecks! Merica!
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01-06-2023 01:23
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Child: I learned a joke at school. Me: Okay, let’s hear it. Child: What goes in stiff, but comes out soft? Me: Child: Me: Child: Me: Is it a- Wife comes running in from another room: IT’S SPAGHETTI! SPAGHETTI!
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01-13-2023 02:20
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Beginning to see the need for censorship. Certain people are just too ignorant to be allowed to speak.
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01-19-2023 04:12
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Nothing is permanent in this world, not even our troubles.
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01-09-2023 03:32
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Someone should’ve tried domesticating bears 10,000 years ago. We really missed the mark with that one. Could be cuddled up with a bear right about now, but whatever.
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01-09-2023 03:40
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I would slap the crap out of you, but there would be nothing left.
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01-23-2023 03:51
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Security at every level of the airport is insane, until you get to the baggage claim. Then it’s like, take whatever bag you want. 😂
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01-24-2023 00:14
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Keep rolling your eyes, you might find a brain.
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01-23-2023 03:36
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Oops, my bad. Thought I was dealing with an adult.
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01-19-2023 04:15
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I love to shop, but I’ll never buy your bull.
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01-19-2023 04:16
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You take the blue pill, the election ends, you wake up in your bed and you believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you dispute the fraud and I show you how deep the rabbit hole really goes.
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01-06-2023 18:51
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Congratulations, everyone who heard what you just said had their IQ drop 90 points.
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01-19-2023 04:18
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CDC: Covid is more deadly when people are obese. Gov: “Close The Gyms!”
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01-08-2023 14:40
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Hope your wife brings a date to your funeral.
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01-19-2023 04:20
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Your face makes onions cry.
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01-19-2023 04:22
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