bego Funny Status Messages
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If I actually did "live like there's no tomorrow". I'd be in jail.
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05-12-2011 23:22 by BEGO
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Facebook says we're 'friends' but, trust me, I wouldn't hesitate to punch you in the face.
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09-11-2011 23:04 by BEGO
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Life is like Facebook. People will LIKE your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.
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09-11-2011 23:08 by BEGO
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doing something weird and thinking, this is why I'm not in a relationship.
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12-29-2011 21:32 by BEGO
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It's amazing the places I will wander to in my house while I talk on the phone.
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12-07-2011 20:20 by BEGO
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It's just as well money can't buy happiness. With prices what they are today, who could afford it anyway?
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11-01-2011 22:56 by BEGO
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Never trust someone that smiles on Monday morning.
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08-05-2013 21:57 by BEGO
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Thank goodness it was Twinkies and not Bacon
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11-30-2012 22:38 by BEGO
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Someone once ask me how I hold my head up so high after all I've been through. I said, as long as I come out of it alive, it makes me a survivor, not a victim.
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07-11-2012 13:55 by BEGO
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Why are scary movies always in creepy places like jails and hospitals? I want a scary movie in Walmart. CLEAN UP ON AISLE 13. BUT SIR... THERE IS NO AISLE 13. Dramatic music..
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01-11-2014 21:55 by BEGO
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Boys Laugh at what they put Girls through but they wont be laughing when they are wiping tears off their Daughters face for the same reason.
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10-06-2013 22:54 by BEGO
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I don’t judge people based on color, race, religion, sexuality, or gender…I base it on whether or not they’re an as$hole.
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11-12-2013 22:14 by BEGO
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Angry Birds suicide hotline, which level are you stuck on?
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05-10-2011 22:14 by BEGO
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Never plan a future with someone that has no future plans for themselves.
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04-21-2012 22:41 by BEGO
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I don't care what the damn expiration date says, I'm smelling the milk before I drink it.
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05-26-2012 23:22 by BEGO
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Nothing says “friend zone” quite like a woman saying “you’re like a brother to me.” Unless you’re from Alabama.
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12-24-2015 00:02 by BEGO
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Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color 8.
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04-12-2013 21:24 by BEGO
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The five second rule also applies to wearing sunglasses indoors.
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08-06-2012 22:25 by BEGO
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If I forget my iPhone when going to the bathroom, I don't care if its the directions on toothpaste, I'm reading it.
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09-11-2012 21:27 by BEGO
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Free samples shouldn't be limited to grocery stores...How can I be sure this Fifth of Scotch is worth the $10 without a quick chug?!?
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06-14-2012 22:11 by BEGO
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