BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

   Love is one long sweet dream… and marriage is the alarm clock.

   "Hello modelling agency?" "Yeah,one of my Facebook friends has 189 likes on photo and yes she is half naked I think she is ready to go pro."

   The Best feeling ever: Waking up and seeing you still have a couple hours to sleep.

   I hate when a texting convo goes like this You: heyy. Them: hey! You: watzup? Them: nothin wbu? You: same. Them: cool. You: yea Them: haha. You: lol. Them: yep.

   LIKE if you know what this means… Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A.

   "I looooove him, I caaaaan't live without him, he is my life" No you don't, your 23, and you met him 6 days ago. Take your damn dramatic a$$ off FB somewhere else.

   The next time somebody texts me with "k", I'm going to tell them that they smell like a hippo. And when they respond with "WTF??" I'm going to respond with just "k"

   That awkward moment when you're late for class, and when you walk in, everyone stares at you like you killed someone.

   The problem isn't government assistance for people who need it. The problem is government assistance for people just because they can get it.

   I feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together.

   too hot* blanket off *too cold* Put blanket on *too hot again* Stick on foot out…..perfect. *hears creepy noise* Sticks foot back in

   The Best Things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we KISS, CRY, and DREAM.

   Emotionally: I'm done. Mentally: I'm drained. Spiritually: I'm dead. Physically: I smile.

   Saying “Hey, I just met you, and this is Crazy..” is how I used to introduce my ex to new people.

   Mission Impossible: Not eating a French Fry on the way home from the drive thru.

   You're right, all guys are the same. It has nothing to do with you exclusively dating douchebags

   P.M.S.= Pass my shotgun

   If you're playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night & you put your ear up to your monitor, it sounds exactly like having no friends.

   I wouldn't have to manage my anger… If people could learn to manage their stupidity.