Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 66 of 6387
Nobody likes a shady beach.
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02-24-2022 02:44
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“It will be celebrated with pomp and parade, bonfires and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other.” ~ John Adams
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07-04-2021 06:39
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Dear Hulu, Disney, Apple, Netflix, Amazon, CBS, NBC, and everyone else trying to create a streaming service: we’re not going to pay for eight of these, work it out.
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06-06-2021 04:44
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Welcome to McBrandon’s…. Would you like some lies with that?
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06-21-2022 00:13
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Hunter Biden walks away from multiple felony charges. The media; look, a submarine!
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06-23-2023 16:26
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My friend’s uncle was a hypochondriac. People like that make me sick.
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08-03-2021 20:54
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If your IQ is 35 but you think it’s 220, you’re probably a moron.
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05-02-2022 23:18
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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08-08-2022 03:01
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Twenty years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.
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06-07-2021 03:31
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That’s a horrible idea. What time?
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06-07-2021 10:24
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We are all here on earth to help others. What on earth the others are here for I don’t know.
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08-15-2022 03:31
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Milk comes from cows, not almonds or other hippy lifestyle products.
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05-06-2022 03:11
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If you are petting a small dog in your lap, it is important to let everyone else in the zoom meeting know what you are doing with your hand.
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01-11-2021 08:12
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I do not like your mental haze. I do not like your leftist ways. I do not like your son on blow. I do not like you Sleepy Joe.
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05-26-2022 06:08
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Was stung by a bee, guess what happened? That’s right, a Welp.
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04-30-2022 00:49
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The CDC recommends wearing your mask on your butt to protect against Monkeypox.
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08-17-2022 02:33
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Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
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05-14-2018 15:01
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I’ve done some terrible things for money...... Like getting up early to go to work.
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06-17-2019 09:21
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Let go of my ears, I know what I’m doing.
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09-15-2021 01:20
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Can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
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07-31-2022 23:55
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