Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 66 of 6387

   messageicon Nobody likes a shady beach.
←Rate | 02-24-2022 02:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “It will be celebrated with pomp and parade, bonfires and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other.” ~ John Adams
←Rate | 07-04-2021 06:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Hulu, Disney, Apple, Netflix, Amazon, CBS, NBC, and everyone else trying to create a streaming service: we’re not going to pay for eight of these, work it out.
←Rate | 06-06-2021 04:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to McBrandon’s…. Would you like some lies with that?
←Rate | 06-21-2022 00:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hunter Biden walks away from multiple felony charges. The media; look, a submarine!
←Rate | 06-23-2023 16:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend’s uncle was a hypochondriac. People like that make me sick.
←Rate | 08-03-2021 20:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your IQ is 35 but you think it’s 220, you’re probably a moron.
←Rate | 05-02-2022 23:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
←Rate | 08-08-2022 03:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twenty years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.
←Rate | 06-07-2021 03:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That’s a horrible idea. What time?
←Rate | 06-07-2021 10:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We are all here on earth to help others. What on earth the others are here for I don’t know.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 03:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Milk comes from cows, not almonds or other hippy lifestyle products.
←Rate | 05-06-2022 03:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are petting a small dog in your lap, it is important to let everyone else in the zoom meeting know what you are doing with your hand.
←Rate | 01-11-2021 08:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do not like your mental haze. I do not like your leftist ways. I do not like your son on blow. I do not like you Sleepy Joe.
←Rate | 05-26-2022 06:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was stung by a bee, guess what happened? That’s right, a Welp.
←Rate | 04-30-2022 00:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The CDC recommends wearing your mask on your butt to protect against Monkeypox.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
←Rate | 05-14-2018 15:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’ve done some terrible things for money...... Like getting up early to go to work. ‬
←Rate | 06-17-2019 09:21 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Let go of my ears, I know what I’m doing.
←Rate | 09-15-2021 01:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
←Rate | 07-31-2022 23:55 Comments (0)  




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