BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Dudes in skinny jeans...there's no need for sex if you're already in her pants...

   If your legs open up faster than Google's homepage. You are not girlfriend material.

   Dear guys wearing skinny jeans, I... Can't.... Breathe.... Sincerely, your damn balls.

   I'm going to bed after a hard day of converting oxygen to carbon dioxide.

   Crazy Fact… People born in 1994-1999 have lived in three decades, two centuries, and two millenniums. & they are not even 18 yet.

   Football is a game in which a handful of men run around for one and a half hours watched by millions of people who could really use the exercise.

   I bet if Adam and Eve were Chinese, they would have eaten the snake and not the apple.

   They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny.

   Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a b**ch.Sincerely, The Titanic

   What would life be like without women? A pain in the as$.

   Why when you wanna break up you hear this "u will never find someone like me?" NO Serious do you think that I leave you For being with someone like u????!

   Women are magicians, they can change anything into an argument.

   Life is like a sports car: It goes too fast, and it costs too much.

   When you mess up a guy's hair, he thinks it's cute, but when you mess up a girl's hair... just hope you're wearing something bulletproof.

   I have this weird fetish where I like to sleep with attractive and smart women...

   Women are a Weapon of Cash Destruction.

   Being in LOVE is like Being DRUNK. No control over what you do.

   I'm not only a workaholic, I drink at home too.

   The only reason nice guys finish last is because they're holding the door for everyone else.

   Never say “that won't happen to me!”, because life has a funny way of proving us wrong.