Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 65 of 6387
Sorry friend, but your latest post didn't gargle Zuckerberg's balls.
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02-24-2022 02:36
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The death toll rises: A man dies of a heart attack a year and a half after eating a corndog at the Jan. 6th riots.
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06-21-2022 22:48
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When she got a boyfriend but she wanna know ya name ~ side nigggaa
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04-23-2022 23:06
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Don’t let anyone else ruin your day. It’s YOUR day, ruin it yourself.
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04-22-2021 06:20
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It should be mandatory that every citizen 21 and older carry a firearm.
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06-07-2022 02:06
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Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.
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08-15-2022 03:35
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Turbo Tax is the worst computer game ever.
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02-28-2022 06:26
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There are two ways of doing things, my way or the wrong way.
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05-06-2022 03:10
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At the end of my appointment, the doctor took his own blood pressure.
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05-06-2022 03:12
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If your ideology makes you hide your face with a mask, then you are a coward.
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05-27-2022 00:17
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Welcome to Disney, where dreams we approve of come true.
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04-24-2022 23:19
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Oh, the hubris! Confusion now has made his masterpiece!
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08-11-2022 23:31
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“I got hairy legs that turn blond in the sun.” Nurse: Sure Joe, let’s go sign some more executive orders.
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04-21-2022 10:11
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If you did not oppose vaccine mandates, passports, you have zero credibility when you say, “my body, my choice.”
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05-09-2022 17:24
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Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
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08-02-2022 01:11
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Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
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08-15-2022 03:33
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They’re sending another 40 billion in aid to eastern Europe while our babies starve. That ought to make you mad as hell.
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05-14-2022 03:28
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Mice die in mouse traps because they don’t understand why the cheese is free. The same thing happens with leftists.
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05-28-2022 01:39 by Biden_Sux
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I’m so competitive, I don’t let anyone ruin my life more than I do.
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08-02-2021 05:21
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I don't know about you, but Ef-Az-Zzee's "impregnate" comment really creeped me out.
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02-25-2022 09:27
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