Funny Status Messages
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Our childhood didn't prepare us for the amount of time we were going to say F^CK as adults 
I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag..
Jeffrey Dahmer's bologna had a first name ,
it was Steven !
S.H.I.T......So Happy It's Thursday!...Some of you just got to get that mind out of the gutter...
The officer asked, "You drinking?" I said, "You buying?" And we just laughed and laughed. I need bail money.
The pool supply sales lady told me I should shock my swimming pool once a week, so I keep showing it my senior picture.
The fact that Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to the Canadian people.
Now that I've gotten older I've come to realize why Bigfoot stays away from people.
I accidentally ate the sticker on an apple. The scan code is inside me and there's now a beep every time I check out at the grocery store.
Prophecy class canceled due to unforeseen circumstances.
Likes his own stuff and not funny
Transginger.
I don't have red hair,
But I'll think could rock it.
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and my dog enjoys it too.
Terraria has awoken
TITAN? More like TiN cAN. RIP Explorers
Reached that age where everything I think happened 4-5 years ago really happened in 2003.
Site owner STILL Sucks the Big One !
Somethings in life I’ll never understand, like how there could be a group on Facebook called Facebookers Anonymous, thats like walking into an open bar where their holding an AA meeting.
I just figured out who you are. You're not from Illinois. You're from Indiana! You're the fat M^G^ loser who pulled the gun at the protest yesterday! It's all over the news! Is that why you're so upset all the time? Because of your three stomachs?
"Navarro is truly a moron. What he says here is demonstrably false." Elon Musk one hour ago. Navarro is the key White House trade advisor advocating for the tariffs. F^GA all turning on each other. It's f*cking hilarious 😂 