Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 64 of 6389
For the immediate future I think we should show Coffee some respect and stop calling it a "Cup of Joe."
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06-05-2022 20:13
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People are running away from Netflix and Disney by the millions. Go woke, go broke.
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04-26-2022 21:17
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There are only two genders, male and female. The rest are mental disorders.
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05-12-2022 01:38
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The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
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08-15-2022 03:29
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When the new girl wants to spend the night; “the couch pulls out, but I don’t.”
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01-18-2023 03:58
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The only supply chain Biden won’t disrupt, the flow of drugs at our southern border.
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05-13-2022 03:09
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I dance like a car dealership’s inflatable tube man.
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01-12-2023 03:59
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Landline phones never get destroyed in washing machines.
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05-06-2022 03:12
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Do you ever think for yourself? CNN viewer: “No, I have television for that.”
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05-14-2022 03:27
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Don’t forget to pay your taxes, so they can send pallet loads of cash to corrupt countries, while you hit the same pothole driving to work every day.
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04-24-2022 23:19
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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
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08-05-2022 02:17
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Hide inside your friend’s toothpaste tube to give them a mysterious minty fresh surprise.
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05-04-2022 00:28
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Grown men who call their parents mommy and daddy can kill you with their bare hands and won’t even say a cuss word while they’re doing it.
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07-06-2022 00:16
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LGBTQ=Lets Get Biden To Quit !
Impressing a girl who owns cats on our date by eating so fast I throw up.
There is no such thing as having too much cheese.
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05-06-2022 03:10
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If you happen to see an FBI agent wearing one of Melania’s dresses, post a photo of him.
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08-15-2022 17:43
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Sorry friend, but your latest post didn't gargle Zuckerberg's balls.
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02-24-2022 02:36
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You get prosecuted for refusing to wear a mask on a plane, but they can intimidate supreme court justice’s families and will be celebrated. This is how you know we are living under a regime.
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05-13-2022 03:07
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When she got a boyfriend but she wanna know ya name ~ side nigggaa
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04-23-2022 23:06
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