Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   me? addicted to facebook? naah... (why isnt anybody commenting on this status!!! I'm waiting for the red number to pop up)...

   going to go postal, but I have to wait 4 -6 weeks for them to find my rifle in the mail.

   hosting a naked twister sausage party. $5.00 @ the door. Food stamps accepted as usual!

   just hung up with the muffin man. he said he's feeling crummy

   Out playing hide and seek with Osama Bin Ladin. Damn he's good!

   life sucks (mood:optimistic)

   boys are like slinkies...useless but fun to watch fall down stairs

   not every flower can say love, but a rose does. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus does. Not every retard can read... but look at you go!

   starting group meetings at my house for people with OCD, & if anyone feels the urge to tidy up, by all means go ahead

   the way it used to be.

   what we have here...is a failure to communicate....

   not a complete idiot, some pieces are missing!

   wonders what would happen if he was scared half to death....twice??

   tired of using technology

   thnks you can observe alot just by watching

   thinks the future isn't quite what it used to be

   lets party like its 2012....oh wait...

   thinks the Media is just milking the negitivity in this Swine Flu situation. On the plus side, there is now recession beating prices on Mexican pork chops.

   thought I saw a puddy cat!

   has a confirmed case of Swine Flu....it was spotted when his tail began to curl.!!