Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
OK. Whose bright idea was it to call it "Boob Sweat" and not "Humidtitties"? 
I do my part to bring people together by putting “Free BBQ” signs in random yards around town.
Johnny Depp gets 15 million dollars for being with a nut job. And all these years I've been doing it for free!
The difference between superman and I. Superman has super vision ,I require supervision!
Dear Teenage Pop-Tart taking a picture of yourself wearing a bikini in your bathroom mirror: I do not want to be your friend. Please go away. (Does your mother know you do this?)
"If you don't stop picking at that thing it'll never heal." -Sound medical advice or an insult to a banjo player
With subpar graphics and absolutely no plot, TurboTax is, hands down, the worst video game I have ever played
You want this, you want that. People in heII want ice water.
hid some cash in the house for emergencies and now I can’t find it
Someone said: "what night is the dnc swimsuit comp?" I concur. Would love to see AOC in a swimsuit and ball gag. 🤣
Jimmy Buffett sat on a tuffet Drinking his Tanqueray When along came a drunkard A pothead had skunkard And folks in Key West are all ghey..
NOTHING says "party of the everyman" quite like two born-to-riches nepo baby billionaire douchbags selling $80,000 cars on the White House lawn.
.Everyday I live in constant fear that Columbia House is going to send the repo man to get the LP's I never paid for back in 1973-75.
What has red hair, big shoes and lives in a test tube? Bozo the Clone.
Disney has a new movie coming out on Disney + tomorrow. Tinker Tinkerbell meets her brother, Taco.
You know it's going to be a bad day when your imaginary friend files a restraining order on you.
What do electric cars and diarrhea have in common?
The fear of not making it home.
Wondering if life is easier when you're totally insane? I'm about halfway there and I want to know if I need to speed up or slow down!
His approval rating is going down faster than Melania on greaseball kiddie rock each time he wears his sequined Circus Ringleader Clown Suit.
Why doesn't Maury just do the show from backstage? All the women run back there when they find out that none of the 23 guys they tested are her baby daddy. 