Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 63 of 6387

   messageicon Now that the statues are down, tell us how your life has improved. Take your time, I’ll wait.
←Rate | 05-01-2022 21:26 by bo_diddly07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't sell electric cars if gas is cheap. If you don't think that's part of the plan, you're not paying attention.
←Rate | 06-09-2022 14:30 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at “I hate everyone too.”
←Rate | 04-15-2022 02:14 by tricky_ricky222 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tell us more about your welp...
←Rate | 04-19-2022 20:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man’s best friend is his dog.
←Rate | 08-02-2022 01:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we have zero percent inflation, why do we need an Inflation Reduction Act?
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 03:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 03:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas party
←Rate | 12-05-2019 09:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gaslighting ~ people who try to control others through manipulation will often accuse you of behaviors that they are engaged in themselves. A classic manipulation tactic ripped right from the leftist playbook.
←Rate | 05-30-2022 00:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why don’t you take a break from disappointing me.
←Rate | 05-06-2022 03:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A donation of 14 billion has been made to eastern Europe in your name. Thanks.
←Rate | 04-01-2022 02:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls are like strawberries, sometimes they’re at the grocery store.
←Rate | 04-15-2022 02:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You’re only as good as your last haircut.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 03:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At the end of the day we are all human beans and together we will rice. Lettuce pray, ramen.
←Rate | 04-15-2022 01:50 by John_42John Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m so old, I remember when people were well mannered.
←Rate | 05-06-2022 03:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron.
←Rate | 08-02-2022 01:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fauci recommends stopping spread of Monkeypox by covering eyes, ears and mouth.
←Rate | 05-24-2022 05:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon LGBTQ=Lets Get Biden To Quit !
←Rate | 06-09-2022 21:44 by lightbulb76 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People should have to pass a sense of humor test before they’re allowed on social media.
←Rate | 04-04-2022 05:36 Comments (0)  




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