Funny Status Messages

   Just saw Peyton Manning Tebowing, very thankful for his new job.

   well at least the jets have god on their side now.

   Did not know Osama Bin Laden's son plays for the Oklahoma City Thunder!!

   I am perfection in the realm of understanding without comprehension in the abyss of normality.

   Carefull..the owner of this account that you're about to view is too hot...

   guna name his daughter friday so I can take her to work with me on mondays and feel better about my day

   I think some ppl should read the new book "Get A Life™"...by "X"®

   Breaking New's: Trump Admistration set to announce Bernie Madoff as IRS Commissioner....

   He says the mentally I'll shouldn't have access to guns, yet he literally repealed the law that blocked their access to guns his first month in office.

   Suddenly a wild Beyonce appears... (•_•) <) )╯ all the single ladies ./ \. ( •_•) \( (> all the single ladies ./ \. (•_•) <) )╯ ./ \. oh oh oh

   says that when I asked my wife why she needed to buy so many shoes, she pointed out to me that Cinderella is living proof that shoes CAN change your life!..

   In the spirit of Mother's Day, the worst mother ever has to be Donsld Trump's mother.

   I’ve seen The Blair Witch Project and that’s all I need to know about camping.

   will never understand why soccer players celebrate a goal by running around more. you did good! take a lil’ break

   got a great deal on tampons... anybody want any they are a $1.00 a piece.. no "strings" attached..

   I wonder how much it cost to pay off Michigans referees

   *throws a dead pigeon at jerk who cut me off in traffic* Wife: Hun, I don’t think flipping the bird means what you think it means.

   The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.

   Now, all we need is Nancy to be home

   That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.