bego Funny Status Messages

   I hate when Netflix asks if I’m still watching. You really think I got my life together in the last 2 hours?

   There is this new awesome technology to do group chats... It's called "put your damn phone away and join the conversation!"

   The new iPhone 5 will totally revolutionize the way I send all of your calls straight to voicemail.

   Dear Ex, remember those I love you more fights? I won.

   Showing your friend a funny video on YouTube and constantly checking their face to make sure they're enjoying it…

   Hollister should offer complimentary gas masks and ear plugs when you walk in the store.

   I love reading Facebook drama, people go so hard behind that keyboard!

   It's going to be weird still checking Facebook when I'm 70.

   I can memorize twenty song lyrics before I can memorize one answer to a question on a test -_-

   Hey UNITED, my ex is flying from Atlanta to San Antonio, flight 2145 row 12, seat D. Do your thing

   Fact: zoning out is your brain's way of saying “You look bored. Let me take you to a better place.”

   Beers should come with a "May reverse bros before hoes" warning.

   Nothing’s forever. Forever’s a lie. All we have is what’s between hello and goodbye.

   Life is way too short to have matching socks.

   Ahh, Subway. It's the only place on Earth where you can force a woman to make you a sandwich and she can't tell you to f$ck off.

   Black Parents: "When we get in this Restaurant you 8, OKAY?" Son: But mama I'm 12 . Mom: *SMACK* "Listen Here, Yo a$s is 8 you hear me?!"

   Girls who are obsessed with celebrities need to get a life

   Why yes Officer...I did see the speed limit sign...I just didn't see your car...

   There's always a truth behind "JUST KIDDING", a little emotion behind "I DON'T CARE", a little pain behind "IT'S OKAY", a little "I NEED U" behind "LEAVE ME ALONE

   Aren't we all supposed to die next month or is that cancelled?