Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 62 of 6387

   messageicon If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 03:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Accomplishing the impossible means the boss will add it to your regular duties.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Goats are like ducks, if you shoot a duck, I’m scared of toasters, c’mon man.” ~ Joe Biden
←Rate | 05-28-2022 01:35 by Trump_Fan Comments (0)  


   messageicon I follow the call of the disco ball.
←Rate | 07-05-2022 01:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Adult videos gives young people an unrealistic idea of how fast a plumber will come to your house.
←Rate | 03-26-2022 13:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you've ever used the word welp, there's no need for the rainbow flag.
←Rate | 04-19-2022 20:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If life was fair, Elvis would be alive, and all the impersonators would be dead.
←Rate | 08-02-2022 01:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think you have it tough, read history books.
←Rate | 08-02-2022 01:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My current mood would not get a good Yelp review.
←Rate | 05-06-2022 03:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Autocorrect makes me say things I didn’t Nintendo.
←Rate | 07-05-2022 01:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.
←Rate | 08-02-2022 01:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
←Rate | 05-05-2022 03:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Innocent child dies horrifically. Oompa Loompas: Time for a song and dance.
←Rate | 07-05-2022 01:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your cup is only half full, you probably need a new bra size.
←Rate | 07-05-2022 01:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good morning, I saw your Biden yard sign, so I know you’ll buy whatever kind of crap I’m selling.
←Rate | 06-26-2022 00:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.
←Rate | 07-31-2022 23:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lot of people don’t struggle with depression, they struggle with the reality we live in.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the immediate future I think we should show Coffee some respect and stop calling it a "Cup of Joe."
←Rate | 06-05-2022 20:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits in the newspaper.
←Rate | 08-02-2022 01:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are only two genders, male and female. The rest are mental disorders.
←Rate | 05-12-2022 01:38 Comments (0)  




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