Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 62 of 6387
If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.
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08-15-2022 03:35
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Accomplishing the impossible means the boss will add it to your regular duties.
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08-17-2022 02:30
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“Goats are like ducks, if you shoot a duck, I’m scared of toasters, c’mon man.” ~ Joe Biden
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05-28-2022 01:35 by Trump_Fan
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I follow the call of the disco ball.
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07-05-2022 01:52
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Adult videos gives young people an unrealistic idea of how fast a plumber will come to your house.
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03-26-2022 13:04
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If you've ever used the word welp, there's no need for the rainbow flag.
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04-19-2022 20:16
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive, and all the impersonators would be dead.
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08-02-2022 01:12
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If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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08-02-2022 01:13
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My current mood would not get a good Yelp review.
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05-06-2022 03:09
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Autocorrect makes me say things I didn’t Nintendo.
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07-05-2022 01:52
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The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.
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08-02-2022 01:13
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Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
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05-05-2022 03:18
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Innocent child dies horrifically. Oompa Loompas: Time for a song and dance.
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07-05-2022 01:49
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If your cup is only half full, you probably need a new bra size.
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07-05-2022 01:51
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Good morning, I saw your Biden yard sign, so I know you’ll buy whatever kind of crap I’m selling.
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06-26-2022 00:11
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I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.
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07-31-2022 23:53
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A lot of people don’t struggle with depression, they struggle with the reality we live in.
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08-17-2022 02:31
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For the immediate future I think we should show Coffee some respect and stop calling it a "Cup of Joe."
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06-05-2022 20:13
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It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits in the newspaper.
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08-02-2022 01:10
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There are only two genders, male and female. The rest are mental disorders.
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05-12-2022 01:38
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