Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6151 of 6370
I had a philosophy class where the only question on the final was he put his chair on his desk, and wrote on the board, "Prove to me this chair doesn't exist". I got an A because I had the best answer. I just wrote down, "What chair?". Worked like a charm
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02-03-2010 11:44
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If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look similar to this: 57 Asians; 21 Europeans; 14 from the Western Hemisphere; 8 Africans; 52 would be female;
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02-03-2010 11:41
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confused.His left part of his brain has nothing right in it and the right part of his brain has nothing left in it
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02-03-2010 11:07
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I order the club sandwich all the time. I'm not even a member. I dunno how I get away with it.
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02-03-2010 11:02 by tomcall
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Sometimes, I feel really lonely, especially when I'm throwing a Frisbee.
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02-03-2010 11:00 by tomcall
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..if life is just one big game.. I need unlimited health & money cheat codes...
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02-03-2010 08:46 by Braddaz
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typing in sick so she will not have a status today
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02-03-2010 08:34
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It's been 120 days and guess who is still sober ? Ted Kennedy
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02-03-2010 08:29 by emerson
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wants a snuggie made out of shamwows
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02-03-2010 07:33 by mitchell
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STATUS, coming to a wall near you!
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02-03-2010 05:40
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reminds you that you will never hear her repeating gossip. So you better be sure to pay attention the first time.
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02-03-2010 04:06
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looking for people to go into the future with me. You'll get paid after we get back; we will be fighting legions upon legions of super intelligent apes. Must bring your own weapons, safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once. Bring bananas!
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02-03-2010 03:37 by Ernie
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a few days ago, started using a new deodorant. The instructions read, "remove cap and push up bottom". Now he can barely walk, but when he breaks wind, the room smells awesome.
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02-03-2010 03:34
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thinks it would be easy for all the asians that are changing their profile pictures for It's "Doppelgänger Week" on Facebook, because they could all just change it to Jackie Chan... God knows they all lookalike..
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02-03-2010 03:30
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just had the worse sex of my life..... opps I forgot you were on my friends list.
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02-03-2010 03:13
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It's "Doppelbanger Week" on Facebook. Change your profile pic to naked pic of yourself and my partner will get back to you with an address.
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02-03-2010 02:49 by Djaj
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..is working on her bad intentions since the road to Hell is paved with good ones.
if there s a road less travelled... dont take it. you wont find beer.
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02-03-2010 02:10
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The best part about living in a small town is when I don't know what i'm doing,someone else does.
I lost my mood ring...I'm not sure how I feel about that...
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02-03-2010 01:55
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