Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 61 of 6387

   messageicon Kids today are soft, I died once when I was five and my mom made me walk it off.
←Rate | 07-05-2022 01:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There once was a chap named Joe Biden, some think he’s as old as Poseidon. His panicking staff, locked the lord of the gaffe, in a basement where he is still hidin’.
←Rate | 05-18-2022 00:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “We just want to be treated like normal people,” says the Drag Queen twerking in front of a bunch of toddlers.
←Rate | 06-11-2022 01:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.
←Rate | 08-08-2022 03:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t forget to feed your girlfriend every couple of hours or it gets cranky.
←Rate | 07-05-2022 01:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you watch my life backwards, I’m a weight watchers success story.
←Rate | 04-15-2022 01:52 by Rebel46_Ppl Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to Oregon, tampons are in every boy’s bathrooms.
←Rate | 05-13-2022 03:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Biden is the answer, how stupid is the question?
←Rate | 05-20-2022 05:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don’t need drugs to get high when you’ve got a 42-foot articulated bucket truck.
←Rate | 07-05-2022 01:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gas prices hit a new record high and Biden cancelled lease sales for oil and gas on more than a million acres on the same day.
←Rate | 05-15-2022 02:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the FBI going to raid the house of the reporter who published the Alito opinion? Or is that just reserved for the reporters who got Ashley Biden’s diary.
←Rate | 05-11-2022 00:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you remember Jan. 6th last year? Yeah, 2.19 a gallon.
←Rate | 04-29-2022 23:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Silver Alert: Elderly white male, early dementia, yells “C’mon Man!”
←Rate | 06-27-2022 03:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool.
←Rate | 08-04-2022 01:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone know how long you can put chicken in the freezer? I put one in last night and it was dead this morning.
←Rate | 02-26-2021 08:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The left is like, I paid $7.00 for gal. gas, $8.00 for gal. milk, rent is twice my monthly income, there’s shortages of everything, crime is surging, the world’s on the brink of chaos, but I’m happy because Trump isn’t in office.
←Rate | 05-17-2022 06:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear leftists, you just spent the last two years fighting against the concept of body autonomy, take it down a notch.
←Rate | 05-11-2022 00:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you’re shorter than 4 foot your pronouns are, eeny-meeny-miny-moe.
←Rate | 04-14-2022 01:59 by Nancypantsy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you’re taller than 6 foot, your pronouns are fi-fi-fo-fum.
←Rate | 04-14-2022 02:00 by JoeBob91 Comments (0)  




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