Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6095 of 6371
living the dream, one nightmare at a time.
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03-04-2010 21:01 by MG
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the head radiologist of the X-ray department at the hospital married one of his patients. Everybody wondered what he saw in her...
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03-04-2010 20:57
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went to a seafood disco last week.... and pulled a mussel.
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03-04-2010 20:50
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kleptomania, but when it gets bad I take something for it.
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03-04-2010 20:48
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wanted to learn how to make ice-cream, so I started attending sundae school.
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03-04-2010 20:30
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been trying to remember the name of that disease that causes baldness, but I can't think of it off the top of my head.
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03-04-2010 20:26
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I met a man who fell into an upholstery machine. Fortunately, he's fully recovered now.
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03-04-2010 20:23
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I came, I sawed, I yelled "Timber!"
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03-04-2010 20:23
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And in the stock market today, helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.
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03-04-2010 20:21
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If you don't pay your exorcist you'll get repossessed.
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03-04-2010 20:20
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on the 8th day god created beer to keep Canadians from taking over the world
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03-04-2010 20:20
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ATTENTION: Law Enforcement Officials need everyone's help!!! Police are searching for a thief who splashes gasoline on his victims and then robs them by threatening them with a lighted match. The Authorities want to catch him before he strikes again.
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03-04-2010 20:15
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can see through your clothes. Mood: disappointed.
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03-04-2010 20:12 by GirlX
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Wife comes home and says "What would you do if I won the lottery?" "I would take half and leave your ass!" "good I won 12$ here's 6$ now get the fu$k out!"
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03-04-2010 19:44
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Don't piss on my boots and tell me it's raining
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03-04-2010 19:11 by Brad
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women dont fart until they get married
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03-04-2010 18:44 by satixed
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"The next part will be difficult. You will be taken. So, can I borrow your car for like 3 days?" (Liam Nuisance)
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03-04-2010 17:20 by Dgray3
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Marriage is the opportunity to inherit an additional dysfunctional family, just in case the one you have wasn't enough.
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03-04-2010 17:07
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muliple personality disorder and schizophrenia. No we don't.....WHO SAID THAT?!!!
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03-04-2010 17:03
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I would not say that I am living in the fastlane, but I am experiencing life at a high rate of WTF's per minute.
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03-04-2010 16:03 by bigedusw
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