Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6073 of 6370
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate....
If Polygram records,Warner Bros,and Keebler merged would the company be called Poly-Warner-Cracker?
They say that three out of four Americans have a mental illness of some kind. Look at three of your friends. If they seem okay,then you're that person.
had a wonderful day. Unfortunately, this wasn't it.
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03-16-2010 12:29 by gator
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cautious. There is a "Stop Time" button on the microwave that was probably supposed to read "Stop Timer" but I don't press it, just in case.
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03-16-2010 11:39 by markf
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Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you're finished
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03-16-2010 11:35
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The sexual position 69 is now 96, due to the poor economy the price of eating out has gone up
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03-16-2010 10:36
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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was?
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03-16-2010 10:35 by MG
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trust is like a mirror you can fix it if its broken but you can still see the crack in that mother fuckers reflection!
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03-16-2010 10:03
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wonders why is it that when someone wants to give me advice they "put their two cents in" but I only get "a penny for my thoughts". Where is that second penny going? I think I might be getting ripped off...
it's not death I fear..........it's what they'll find on my computer when I go!!
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03-16-2010 09:49 by Shane
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starting a facebook anonymous group to help people with their Fb addiction...we will meet 6 times a day right here on Fb...anyone interested?
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03-16-2010 09:40 by T.K.
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Beer: sometimes too much to drink isn't enough..
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03-16-2010 09:01 by wolfswar
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You never really learn how to swear until you begin to drive.
wishes her alarm clock had a rewind button
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03-16-2010 07:55
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..is off to spend some quality time with her gf. Be back in two minutes! :-)
PUA-FEN, people use acroynms for everything nowadays
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03-16-2010 04:12
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wondering how a MAN can't stop a PRIUS ......BUT....... Tiger woods wife stopped a ESCALADE WITH a 9iron
Show me a man that doesn't cheat and I'll show you a woman who minds her own business
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03-16-2010 01:39 by @TeeWuu86
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remember to drink your beer. It's full of vitamin P.
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03-16-2010 00:17
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