Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6042 of 6370
She Bangs, She Bangs...... Turns Out The Whole Time Ricky Martin Meant He Bangs, He Bangs....... Livin La Vida Loca Who Knew lol.
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03-30-2010 01:19
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hmm..could the bill be that bad..starting to wonder if its the bill or is it just Mr Obama they dont like..
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03-29-2010 22:21
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Looks Like Kate Goselin Is As Bad A Dancer As She Was Wife And Is A Mother. Jesus Stay Home Lady We Have Had Enough!
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03-29-2010 22:20
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They should make women wear red wrist bands at the club if they're on their period so the fellas will know if she's worth buying drinks for all night
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03-29-2010 21:16 by @TeeWuu86
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just heard that today singer Ricky Martin came out as gay. In other surprising news:President Obama is black, the economy stinks and cigarettes are bad for you...
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03-29-2010 20:07
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Schizophrenic...and So am I
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03-29-2010 19:47 by Vitamin N
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When your children come up to you after a minor incident and say," This is the worst day of my life!!!" Just look at them.....smile......and say, "You haven't seen anything yet".
A craving for some cookies 'n MILF
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03-29-2010 19:19 by Mike R.
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Just had a friend post "Awesome day, Dry spell broken." and his MOM clicked the like button and he responds "MOM! WTH?" and then she asks "oops how do I UNclick it?" HAHAHA!!
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03-29-2010 19:07 by KG
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One of these days I'm going to run in to this Murphy dude who insists on making these messed up laws... and he's going to get knocked the F out!!!!
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03-29-2010 18:59 by Steve
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for people who think an invisible object cant kill you try hitting and invisible block on mario bros
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03-29-2010 18:45
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Life is like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today,may burn your a*s tomorrow.
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03-29-2010 17:19
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if you need a friend (text me) need a laugh (call me) need a hug (stop by) need money (this number is no longer in service)
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03-29-2010 16:29
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Warning. Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday. Please note that staying awake all night does not prevent Monday. There is no cure.
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03-29-2010 16:28
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if you were a status....i`d like u.....!!!!!
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03-29-2010 16:22 by siddharth
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Bananosecond, n.; Time elapsed between slipping on the peel and hitting the pavement.
LIE: A very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered to date.
Jewish fun fact: If you celebrate Passover on top of an overpass, you go back in time
Have you ever said goodbye to someone before a long trip or even to leave somewhere for good, but you end up having to come back moments later for something you forgot? Does it make the original goodbye lose all of its sentimental value? Just wondering...
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03-29-2010 13:34 by KG
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i walked in to my local hardware store after work a member of staff asked if I wanted decking, I quickly got the first punch in before he had chance
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03-29-2010 13:09
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