Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6020 of 6370
wondering why they call it Joy dish soap when people hate to wash the dishes?
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04-08-2010 13:30
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You would think when you offer someone gum they would take it, but no some don't...maybe next time I can just hand them a toothbrush ad toothpaste and they will get the message!
I'm way too cool for you boy, that's why it will never work...
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04-08-2010 13:04
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has done his bit for the environment today by switching to natural gas. It was the best bowl of beans I've had in a while.
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04-08-2010 11:08
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"The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself"...and spiders. Oh, and ticks and nuclear war and getting laid off and losing your eye sight and...
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04-08-2010 11:03 by Cheryl
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We need to have a man to man talk! Well if not man to man, mustache to mustache at least
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04-08-2010 10:35
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Did anybody ever end up getting Jay-Z a what what? I think he also asked for a woop woop.
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04-08-2010 09:49
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was listening to the word abolishionist today used in the news, so I invented a new word that I am....an "Obamalishonist"...... me likey soooo much !! LOL
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04-08-2010 09:43
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still mad at my friend for stealing my Tom & Jerry Poster! Grow up!!"
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04-08-2010 09:34
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Ever wonder if you ordered something online, forget what you ordered and get mad because it still hasn't came yet?
An elephant to a naked man 'how do you breath through that thing'
I'm having trouble sleeping. I guess i'd better get up from under my desk and get some work done.
hates allergy season!!! currently OD'ing on Allegra
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04-08-2010 08:04
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Does anybody else feel the intense awkwardness when a woman doesn't choose the iron in a game of Monopoly?
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04-08-2010 07:09
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Two mancode violations to report this week: caught a guy reading his horoscope out loud to his friends, and caught wind at work that one of my friends rode on the back of another guy's motorcycle. Flagrant.
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04-08-2010 03:35 by Shamus
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a doctor goes into work one day and asks his secretaryif it was wrong to have sex with his patients. runs him out of office and screams "OF COURSE UR A VET!!!
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04-08-2010 01:49 by riya
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says the difference between ORAL SEX & ANAL SEX,,,,,,,,,,, ,, is ORAL SEX will make your day but ANAL SEX will make your hole weak.......
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04-08-2010 01:46 by riya
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wants to be one of those people who, when he reaches the end of his life, gets their head cryogenically frozen, wakes up in a new, strong, young body 10,000 years in the future and proceeds to lead the human race to victory over the alien insect overlords
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04-08-2010 00:25
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it is really satisfying to know, now that my 2 year old is almost done with diapers, I will probably be the next one that needs them...
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04-07-2010 23:23 by Dave B
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Good morning! Looks like you need a shot of wake the fok up!?