Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 60 of 6387
When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you’re rich. If your name is on your desk, you’re middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you’re poor.
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08-17-2022 02:30
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Quit looking for a reason to hate me, I’m cool as f.
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05-09-2022 02:28
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Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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08-08-2022 03:00
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Her: how could you sleep with her!? Him: uh, she’s hot? Her: You didn’t think about me in any of this? Him: I thought about you the whole time so I wouldn’t nut early.
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05-25-2022 02:59
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Being forced to watch the Feds spend billions of your tax dollars on a corrupt foreign war while struggling with record high inflation.
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05-17-2022 06:12
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How can you face your problem, if your problem is your face?
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06-17-2022 02:42
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The Left released Trump’s tax returns, and nobody cares.
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01-08-2023 03:08
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In 1929, the Soviet Union established gun control. From 1929 to 1953, about 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
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05-30-2022 00:07
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Summer, Spring, Winter and Welp
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04-19-2022 20:47
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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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08-03-2022 01:23
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Trans species man who self-identifies as a deer accidentally shot by hunters. Rest in pieces.
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04-20-2022 12:29
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Are you suffering from a lack of vitamin me?
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07-05-2022 01:52
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Remember kids, if she has an apple, she has a banana.
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04-14-2022 01:55
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Hey gurl, speaking of lickity split, whatcha doin later...
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03-23-2022 14:59
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Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
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08-05-2022 02:16
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Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
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08-18-2022 03:24
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A trans four year old is like a vegan cat. We know who is making the choices.
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04-01-2022 02:21
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Inadvertently just signed off a work email, “should you have any questions, please don’t. Hesitate to ask.” I’m sticking with it.
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04-04-2022 05:36
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“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” ~ Henry Ford
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04-04-2022 05:37
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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08-08-2022 03:02
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