Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you’re rich. If your name is on your desk, you’re middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you’re poor.
←Rate | 08-17-2022 02:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Quit looking for a reason to hate me, I’m cool as f.
←Rate | 05-09-2022 02:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
←Rate | 08-08-2022 03:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her: how could you sleep with her!? Him: uh, she’s hot? Her: You didn’t think about me in any of this? Him: I thought about you the whole time so I wouldn’t nut early.
←Rate | 05-25-2022 02:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being forced to watch the Feds spend billions of your tax dollars on a corrupt foreign war while struggling with record high inflation.
←Rate | 05-17-2022 06:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How can you face your problem, if your problem is your face?
←Rate | 06-17-2022 02:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Left released Trump’s tax returns, and nobody cares.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 03:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In 1929, the Soviet Union established gun control. From 1929 to 1953, about 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.
←Rate | 05-30-2022 00:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Summer, Spring, Winter and Welp
←Rate | 04-19-2022 20:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
←Rate | 08-03-2022 01:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trans species man who self-identifies as a deer accidentally shot by hunters. Rest in pieces.
←Rate | 04-20-2022 12:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you suffering from a lack of vitamin me?
←Rate | 07-05-2022 01:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember kids, if she has an apple, she has a banana.
←Rate | 04-14-2022 01:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey gurl, speaking of lickity split, whatcha doin later...
←Rate | 03-23-2022 14:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
←Rate | 08-05-2022 02:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 03:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A trans four year old is like a vegan cat. We know who is making the choices.
←Rate | 04-01-2022 02:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Inadvertently just signed off a work email, “should you have any questions, please don’t. Hesitate to ask.” I’m sticking with it.
←Rate | 04-04-2022 05:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” ~ Henry Ford
←Rate | 04-04-2022 05:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
←Rate | 08-08-2022 03:02 Comments (0)  




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