huck Funny Status Messages
Search results for status messages containing 'huck': View All Messages
Page: 6 of 22
How the Grinch Stole Christmas is my favorite holiday special about a burglar whose crimes go wholly unpunished.
←Rate |
12-20-2012 06:17 by Huck
Comments (0)
If my job was to make health questionnaires, I'd slip in random stuff like "How fast can you run backwards?"
←Rate |
03-19-2013 06:23 by Huck
Comments (0)
FACT: Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
←Rate |
09-24-2013 02:10 by huck
Comments (0)
My favorite yoga pose is mouthward facing pie.
←Rate |
01-29-2014 22:29 by Huck
Comments (0)
Before forming an opinion on an important social topic, ask yourself: what would a completely unqualified millionaire celebrity actor think?
←Rate |
10-28-2014 10:24 by huck
Comments (0)
I'm just a boy. In love with a girl. Standing here quietly. Behind your shower curtain. Watching.
←Rate |
09-06-2012 10:30 by Huck
Comments (0)
or the millionth time, yes Pandora, I'm still listening. What are you my wife?
←Rate |
09-15-2013 07:20 by huck
Comments (0)
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don't know. Inspirational statuses are hard
←Rate |
10-23-2013 01:33 by huck
Comments (0)
In 10 years I'm opening a lower-back tattoo removal clinic called 'Mom What's That?'
←Rate |
12-28-2012 07:43 by Huck
Comments (0)
FACT:There is no angry way to say ‘bubbles.’
←Rate |
03-19-2014 05:36 by Huck
Comments (0)
I have to assume these next four weeks are incredibly difficult for anyone whose grandma actually was run over by a reindeer.
←Rate |
12-01-2012 09:57 by Huck
Comments (0)
If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
←Rate |
01-24-2014 05:22 by Huck
Comments (2)
Phrases I hope to avoid in my obituary: “skeletal remains,” “dumpster,” “almost beyond recognition,” “dental records” and “shallow grave.”
←Rate |
07-09-2014 04:12 by Huck
Comments (0)
We live in a society that's the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
←Rate |
11-05-2013 04:55 by huck
Comments (0)
When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. And that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
←Rate |
03-06-2014 05:21 by Huck
Comments (0)
Preferred Forms of Contact (In Order): 1) Email 2) Text 3) Social Media 4) Group Message 5) entering My Shower in a "Scream" Mask 6) Phone
←Rate |
11-14-2014 13:50 by huck
Comments (0)
Seemed to cruel to get my dog fixed. So instead I got him a really crappy haircut. And now he can't even get a date.
←Rate |
03-06-2013 07:43 by Huck
Comments (0)
Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.
←Rate |
07-30-2014 05:17 by Huck
Comments (0)
Silly prank: Transmit clips of backward devil talk to your neighbors' baby monitor at random times throughout the night.
←Rate |
07-11-2012 07:29 by Huck
Comments (0)
Kind of unfair that dentists are the only ones who have the freedom to shove their hand in someone's mouth when they start talking.
←Rate |
06-20-2015 17:01 by huck
Comments (0)
[Search Results] [View All Messages]