g0re Funny Status Messages

   Your such a slut. The only reason you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.

   WOMAN'S LOGIC... Bikini: no problem Underwear and Bra: OMG!!! DONT LOOK!!!

   Only 12 % of the earths population can solve this in 30 seconds. Say the 0pposite of these words: 1) always 2) coming 3) from 4) take 5) me 6) down

   Why can't rappers just say nice things? Like, “I wanna take your clothes off and hang them up in the closet real nice."

   We all have that one facebook friend that acts like it's their job to keep everyone updated on the weather, current events, and other meaningless sh!t with their status.

   I bet the Super Size Me guy regrets not doing his McDonalds binge during the Monopoly promotion.

   How come we always hear about what's happening on Wall Street and Main Street. What about what's happening on Sesame Street? People live in trash cans there.

   If you truly understand me, you'll let me be annoying.

   Sometimes when you watch Jersey Shore or Keeping Up With the Kardshians, you can feel your brain cells dying.

   It's one of life's cruel tricks that by the time you're old enough to afford a flashy sports car, you look ridiculous driving it.

   The Trix commercials just teach kids that sharing is bad.

   It is important to be thankful for little things in life. Like the fact that the world doesn't make a strange creaking noise when it rotates on its axis.

   You think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.

   “One man's trash is another man's treasure” is an awesome phrase, but it's a horrible way to tell your kid they're adopted.

   Just because you attract a lot of nasty skanks does not mean you're a stud. It means that your own kind recognizes you.

   life is too ironic to understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is, Noise to appreciate silence, and absence to value presence.

   DEAR SIDEWALK, Please get wider... SINCERELY, 3rd FRIEND WALKING BEHIND FEELING EXCLUDED.

   Dear ladies: We are not that hard to find. We are in the friend zone, right where you left us. Sincerely, The nice guys.

   Sometimes you sit in class and listen to the conversations around you and realize you are the smartest person in the room.

   people ask me why I don't have any tattoos I tell em " would you put a bumper sticker on your ferrari?