bill Funny Status Messages

   President Obama is celebrating Black History Month, but just for the first two weeks.........

   Fat Tuesday, the day obese people look forward to. The day they think it's socially acceptable to wear leggings and belly shirts. It's not.

   Respect must be earned by a sitting President these days.....

   Monday sure is an awful way to spend 1/7th of our life......

   FYI - Tomorrow is Hard Hat Friday......

   It's Friday the 13th! Want to get lucky?

   Thinking about posting a pic of myself in my underwear in support of my congressman Anthony Weiner........

   Happy President's Day! Time to remember all the great leaders this country has had, and how we've disgraced them by putting Obama in office!!

   I disliked Obama before it was cool.......Yes I did!

   Over/Under - Brett Farve: 70 sexting messages to NY woman while in town.

   Plaxico Burress is out of jail today... Only a black man would be sent to jail for 2 years for shooting himself...

   Hurricane Watch for south Texas, blame it on George W. Bush....

   can't afford these gas prices anymore..... I'm charging up Leroy's Buzz Lightyear car and leaving for work 4 hours early tonight.

   Obama re-election: Beyond 'Hope' and 'Change' ... Now its 'Poverty and Debt'........

   “Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.” - Mark Twain

   Ashton Kutcher to replace Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men. Remaining cast and crew already planning their own "Torpedo of Truth" tour.

   Wishing the King a happy 76th Birthday, where ever he is.....

   Netanyahu's wife needs to give Michelle Obama a tee shirt that reads, "Don't you wish your husband could be a man like mine?"

   Oh great....I just heard a satellite the size of a bus is expected to crash somewhere on earth tomorrow. Wear a hat!!

   President Obama misunderstood that today is Flag Day. He thought it was Hag Day and took Helen Thomas out to lunch.