bego Funny Status Messages

   LIKE if you’ve already broke one of your New Year’s Resolutions.

   LIKE if you remember having to REWIND a video before you returned it.

   Facebook should invent a relationship status that says "Only when i'm drunk."

   Some things are so awkward to say, but so easy to text message.

   Lazy rule #35: If you spill some water, it will eventually dry.

   Phones get thinner and smarter, and people?! We get fatter and stupid.

   That mini heart attack you get when the parked car next to you moves and you think you're moving.

   Quick question, Ladies, If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the f$ck are you doing?

   My bed is a magical place where I can suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.

   Do you ever feel pressure to play good music when people are in your car?

   Leaving the house would be so much cooler if someone would yell “Aaaaand Action!” as I walk out the door.

   I remember that one time, before Facebook, when I went outside and did stuff.

   Marriage is like a late night phone call. You get a ring and then you wake up.

   So thankful my childhood was filled with imagination and bruises from playing outside. Instead of apps and how many likes you can get on a selfie.

   I love you yet I hate you,its like I want to throw you off a cliff then run really fast to the bottom to catch you ..

   This morning I put Red Bull into my coffee maker instead of water and now I can see noises.

   16 and Pregnant? How come I didn't get my own show when I was 16? "16 and smart enough to use a rubber."

   I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like.

   ""When people cut you down. Or talk behind your back. remember they took time out of their pathetic lives, To think about you.""

   I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.