Snotty Funny Status Messages
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PRO TIP: Make tomorrow's colonoscopy special by eating all of this glitter!
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04-11-2015 16:04 by snotty
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[wakes up from a 20 year coma]. Sweet,,, X-Files still goin strong
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01-27-2016 18:57 by snotty
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I eat my Oreos like everyone else.. one row at a time.
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09-27-2014 14:31 by snotty
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I’m the world record holder for the most arguments won against a woman................................................. 1 to be exact
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02-20-2013 18:49 by snotty
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A good magician never reveals what he does for a living.
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08-29-2013 13:25 by snotty
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Show me on the doll where gas prices touched you.
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05-19-2012 14:59 by snotty
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Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
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04-21-2012 08:57 by snotty
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I never win at Scrable
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03-31-2012 21:37 by snotty
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If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, YOU'LL FIND SOME WAY TO BLAME ME FOR THAT TOO, WON'T YOU, SUSAN?
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04-16-2012 07:07 by snotty
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I'm not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn't looking,, I can turn water into Sprite.
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01-20-2014 16:52 by snotty
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I Just saw a tumbleweed roll past my last post
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10-17-2012 20:05 by snotty
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I always take a number at the deli, and I've been keeping them.... Eventually I'll have all the numbers and it will always be my turn
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05-24-2013 08:01 by snotty
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I really have no idea what a Kardashian is but,,,, From what I can gather, it's an exercise bike for basketball players.
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09-28-2012 18:22 by snotty
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This woman at Walmart has a lovely set of March Madness teeth.. She's down to the final 4.
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03-13-2012 19:10 by snotty
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American Idol would be so much better if Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets were the judges.
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04-06-2012 17:37 by snotty
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I'm ABSOLUTELY positive I'd accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.
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09-06-2014 09:32 by snotty
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I, put commas, in, weird places, so that, you, read, my jokes, like William, Shatner.
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09-20-2014 06:33 by snotty
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To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
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10-11-2014 07:30 by snotty
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Even if they sold ten-ply toilet paper, I would still fold it at least twice,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I have trust issues.
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06-21-2013 18:10 by snotty
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I glued the TV remote to my wife. I'm expecting her to go missing any second now.
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08-06-2013 08:44 by snotty
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