MWC Funny Status Messages

   "Zebo, a half blind five year old south african orphan has to ride seven miles a day with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just a small donation of two dollars and we will send you the video its hilarious."

   looking to trade a 9x13 Tupperware bowl for a 13x9 Tupperware bowl. The 9x13 is just to long to fit in my Microwave Oven.

   Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...

   I'm anxiously awaiting my front row tickets to...what goes around comes around

   What does a grape say when it gets stepped on?...Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.

   I broke my finger today, but on the other hand I'm completely fine

   It's Monday, and a strong possibility I may hurt someone!

   Some people think I'm quiet, others wish I was.

   "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" The doctor says, "It's Not Unusual."

   If you don't believe in oral sex....then keep your mouth shut!

   On the advice of my attorney, I plead the 5th on EXACTLY what I did for a Klondike Bar.

   They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye

   Hey Bill, do you talk to your wife during sex..."Only if there is a phone handy!!"

   There is a big difference between a boy and a girl when the sy "I went through a whole box of tissue watching a movie".

   A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

   I'm so broke, my bologna don't have a first name!

   I use to wake up Grumpy...now I just let her sleep!

   Justin Bieber is the Brand Ambassador of sanitary pads.

   being home all day with my kids don't affect me at all. Now let me go tinkle on the potty before we go bye-bye to din-din I'm so hun-gee!

   My friends all got really into that show 'The Deadliest Catch.' But I never watched it 'cause I always just assumed it was about AIDS...Its not!..It's about crabs.