Goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   pretending he is driving on a dirt road in Hazzard county..Yee-Hawww!

   Don't make me choke you with this imaginary cell phone cord.

   As cold as it is outside, today might be a good day to double-up on my underwear.

   Every thing I know about politics, I learned from School House Rocks.

   Try and find me now Sucka!- bread tie

   I'm not one to judge Brotha, but that white tailgate on your black truck screams "salvage title".

   Hey McDonald's, here's an add to fire back at Taco Bell: Eat at McDonald's, you won't sh.. your pants. -your welcome.

   We can get a man to the moon, but somehow we can't manufacture the head of a car wash broom to stay on....

   Contrary to popular belief, "Puppy Pimps" is not a good name for a dog breeder.

   Life before the computer punchline(see above 3): And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy...you hoped nobody found out.

   I now have a strong dislike for Illinois, Kansas, and Maryland. Maybe if we're lucky they cheated like on Willy Wonka!!!

   When you live in the country as I do, the term "prosecuted" translates to "shot".

   Had I had access to a smartphone growing up, I probably would have had an album titled "School Bus Window Artwork"

   Dear Tylenol, as a Father, I can respect the fact that you make your products child-proof. However, as a consumer with a splitting headache, I hate your fricken guts 'cause I can't open the damn packet with my fingers...

   Safety glasses? On this jobsite, we squint for safety!!

   Crushed ice, needs to be placed higher on a pedastool.

   Going half way across the state this morning, and you know what that means...this truck is now a rolling karaoke machine.

   On this night 30 years ago, I found out that wrecking on roller skates while wearing parachute pants was no bueno.

   Sweet Lord Almighty, thanks to this European Satellite that fell on top of my trailer, I can now cancel Direct Tv

   So proud of my lil' hound dog. Taught Her to sit and lay down on command in less than five minutes. With treats of course. Just that much closer to the final lesson of Go fetch Daddy a beer!