Gabe Funny Status Messages

   The GOP memo is out and it said the groundhog saw it's shadow which means one more year of Trump aaaannnndddd I don't know what the hell I'm talking about....

   I was surprised to learn that Elon Musk was from South Africa. I figured he would be from Mad-at-gas-car...

   I just found out ISIS has been using porn sites to send subliminal messages! This explains my urge to run out and buy fertilizer every day...

   The fact that we have to buy trash bags just to throw those same bags in the trash is why I'm angry today...

   Pop two more balloons and we win a stuffed animal... Which ironically, is also made in China...

   It's crazy how people get up at 5 am to workout. I don't even get up at 5 am to pee, I just stay there and suffer...

   Ladies, just so you know, 'Mansplaining' is short for 'Man Explaining'...

   Either the leaves are changing colors or there was something in those brownies...

   I was caught up in a really good book last night. I didn't stop coloring until 2am...

   I'd make a swear jar but I don't have the type of income to keep up with my mouth...

   I will not to be outdone by Elon Musk....I'm announcing my Acquisition of "My Space" for $24.99...

   Someone's been spreading a rumor that I'm schizophrenic. Well, 3 can play at that game...!

   Getting married is like going to the restaurant. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that...