Funny Status Messages Search

X Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there's a giant dog with a tiny woman in its purse.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-10-2011 13:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X You call it lazy, But I call it selective participation.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-20-2011 10:07 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Ever look around the room at your family and think to yourself "it's amazing I turned out as good as I did." Then realize you said it aloud?

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-25-2011 14:45 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Just changed the names of all the girls in my contact list to: "Jake, from State Farm"

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-30-2012 10:20 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-08-2011 10:43 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I'm flattered.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-23-2012 10:17 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I say they give all politicains the Federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour....See how fast things change then!!!!

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-20-2011 10:13 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X In real life, I never know when danger is coming because the music doesn't change.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-09-2011 17:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I accidentally hit a deer! Okay it wasn't a deer, it was a Smart car with fake antlers on it... and it wasn't an accident.

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-05-2011 19:23 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Your secrets are safe with me, because I probably wasn't listening to begin with.

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-24-2011 21:59 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Sex for Hugh Hefner at his age must be like shooting pool with a rope.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-02-2011 14:05 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Going to Mark Zuckerberg's house to move around all his furniture and see how he likes it!

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-22-2011 11:00 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)

X B!tches or not, 99 problems is still a sh!tload of problems.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-18-2011 09:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Watch out! It's quite possible some of my best mistakes haven't been made yet.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-12-2011 12:22 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Hand sanitizer is the best way to find invisible cuts on your hands.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-18-2011 09:21 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Watching these people in this commercial, rock climb, scuba dive & live life to the fullest, kind of makes me wish I had genital herpes.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-18-2012 11:02 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)

X Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-11-2011 12:09 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I hate it when people are holding a device capable of using google and they ask me stupid questions.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-22-2011 16:33 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I was flipping through the Victoria's Secret catalogue and now I have a craving for ribs.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-10-2012 10:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X My fake ID's finally ready. Can't wait to order off the kids' menu!!

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-22-2012 09:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)