Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 6 of 6259

   messageicon If some guy named “Corn Pop” was real, pretty sure he would have come forward by now.
←Rate | 06-21-2022 22:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was taught to think before I act, so if I smack the crap out of you, rest assured that I’ve thought about it, and I feel confident in my decision.
←Rate | 06-28-2022 23:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My girlfriend and I just had an entire conversation about hair bands before she realized I was talking about Motley Crue and she was talking about scrunchies.
←Rate | 06-28-2022 23:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pink Floyd warned us about the school system over 50 years ago, and everyone slept on it.
←Rate | 05-13-2022 03:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In 2018, 33 researchers published their theory that octopuses didn’t originate on earth and are actually alien life forms.
←Rate | 05-26-2022 06:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you’re on your third “damn, that’s crazy” and they keep talking.
←Rate | 05-28-2022 01:36 by Jean Comments (0)  

   messageicon Someone living in their grandmother’s basement used to be the butt of the joke. The rental market is so insane that now it’s like, dam, you’ve got a whole basement to yourself, that’s sexy.
←Rate | 05-11-2022 00:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Waking up and realizing you’re still not rich.
←Rate | 05-17-2022 06:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Might put the tree up and call it a year.
←Rate | 05-26-2022 06:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Are you the only one who gets it, understands it, or who thinks that your own jokes are funny? Something to consider while that jellybean rolls around in your coconut.
←Rate | 05-26-2022 06:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If they can get their student loans forgiven, then I want my car loan forgiven. All loans matter.
←Rate | 06-15-2022 01:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man, ruin it yourself.
←Rate | 06-28-2022 23:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life is too short to die a coward.
←Rate | 05-17-2022 06:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Trying to figure out how I spent 15k on chicken nuggets this year.
←Rate | 05-19-2022 07:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’m not afraid to die, I’m afraid to live on my knees ruled by lesser men who control the destiny of our children.
←Rate | 05-28-2022 01:37 by Buck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Any person capable of angering you becomes your master.
←Rate | 06-03-2022 02:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 64 year old man: Making love to a younger woman may be fatal…. But if she dies, she dies.
←Rate | 06-15-2022 01:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you try to swallow a pill, but it doesn’t go down and now it’s dissolving in your mouth.
←Rate | 06-08-2022 20:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you ground up everyone in the world, it would create a meatball the size of Central Park.
←Rate | 06-10-2022 01:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon IQ Test: To see results, enter your credit card number.
←Rate | 06-15-2022 01:42 Comments (0)  

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