paulb808 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Lady in labor, shouting the usual sh!t, “Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!” She turns to her boyfriend and says, “You did this to me, you f&cker!” He casually replies, “If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your a$$, but you said, ‘f&c
←Rate | 04-18-2010 01:16 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a nickel for every time I ignored your Facebook request I'd have enough to buy a real farm.
←Rate | 04-18-2010 00:14 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon accidentally turned off his facebook anti crap filter and was scared by the amount of quizzes, farm, fairyland, mafia and virtual f&cking cupcake crap you people post, if it wasn't for facebook purity I would delete alot of you
←Rate | 04-18-2010 00:12 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
←Rate | 04-18-2010 00:08 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon facebook – Never letting you forget any of the douchebags you've fuct
←Rate | 04-18-2010 00:07 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Craigslist hooker turned out to be a man. It has been over an hour and he won't take a hint to leave. He can keep my 200 bucks. This was a poor idea.
←Rate | 04-18-2010 00:06 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I accidentally said “LOL” today. I think I deserve to be shot.
←Rate | 04-16-2010 03:19 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon getting to the point where he has to choose between Facebook and having a degree
←Rate | 04-16-2010 03:18 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a girl in a plain push wheelchair holding on to her guy's motorized wheelchair and rolling behind him. Dude, she's using you.
←Rate | 04-16-2010 03:15 by paulb808 Comments (1)  


   messageicon wonders if it's ironic that I have facebook open in another tab.....you do to dont you
←Rate | 04-15-2010 22:01 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come a “drunk” girl on my facebook is able to enter her username and password correctly but when it comes to writing a status she types “90]]]]]]]]]POSPASFD@#”
←Rate | 04-15-2010 22:00 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
←Rate | 04-15-2010 22:00 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend has a weird fetish, she likes to dress up like herself and act like a b!tch every night.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 21:59 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am Nigerian Prince. If you click “like” I send you 17 Billion Dollars. I am very genuinelyness
←Rate | 04-15-2010 21:59 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aw sh!t…im the only black person in my african studies class. This could be awkward…
←Rate | 04-15-2010 21:58 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When gays hack into their gay mate's facebook accounts, do they change the status to, “I'M STRAIGHT AND I LOVE EATING PU$$Y!”?
←Rate | 04-15-2010 21:56 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 21:55 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i am so tired of not being able to swear in my statuses since my family got facebook. So f&ck it. Sorry grandma.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 21:55 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon no woman will ever be truely satisfied because no man will ever have a chocolate penis that ejaculates money…
←Rate | 04-15-2010 21:53 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Ghetto Mom...no one is going to hire your chils named Shaniquillla
←Rate | 04-14-2010 12:21 by paulb808 Comments (0)  




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