jdpower Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Why is Lou Dobbs hiring illegal aliens when Toni Braxton needs the work?
←Rate | 10-12-2010 00:56 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon The unemployment numbers are twice as bad if you count people who describe themselves as "bloggers."
←Rate | 10-12-2010 00:53 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon After the Vikings dreadful performance and fall to 1-3, the Chilean Miners have decided to stay underground.
←Rate | 10-12-2010 00:52 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Given his pass completion percentage tonight, it's clear Favre just isn't handling balls like he used to.
←Rate | 10-12-2010 00:49 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon You work hard. You sacrifice. You fight injustice. You think you're making a difference.. Then you find out Snooki has a book deal.
←Rate | 10-01-2010 17:37 by jdpower Comments (1)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Entire Kardashian Family Diagnosed With "Attention Surplus Disorder".
←Rate | 10-01-2010 17:37 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wanna be a workaholic.. but workahol tastes like sh!t
←Rate | 10-01-2010 17:36 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had a great massage the other day, but I think I confused my masseuse by asking her for an "ambiguous, european-cinema-style ending."
←Rate | 10-01-2010 17:34 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm hearing that the founder of Friendster is donating like $75 to the University of Phoenix.
←Rate | 09-27-2010 15:37 by jdpower Comments (2)  


   messageicon Starbucks says that the rising cost of coffee is forcing them to raise prices. Oddly, they never seem to lower them when coffee prices drop
←Rate | 09-27-2010 15:35 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seriously, why is Lindsay Lohan's 4th drug test fail helicopter-worthy? At this point the press should be sending scooters.
←Rate | 09-27-2010 15:34 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon When there was only one set of footprints, that was when Jesus was flying. What, you don't think Jesus can FLY??
←Rate | 09-27-2010 15:33 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon At the Halloween store: the "Slutty Frankenstein" costumes aren't flying off the shelves.
←Rate | 09-27-2010 15:31 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Inventor of Segway drives it off cliff to his death. Bet he wishes he would have invented a hang glider.
←Rate | 09-27-2010 15:30 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Italy seizes $30 million from the Vatican in probe. Nice to finally see the Catholic clergy on the receiving end of a probe.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 16:30 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon By now, Colonel Sanders has killed more people prematurely than if he were an actual military officer.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 16:29 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lindsay Lohan's upcoming film could be derailed by her failed drug tests. That is, unless her acting gets to it first.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 16:25 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's to hoping next time Lady Gaga wears a dress made out of Justin Bieber.
←Rate | 09-17-2010 18:38 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Camping out for video game releases is a fun way to prepare for your impending homelessness.
←Rate | 09-14-2010 15:28 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon When two meth addicts go out, is it considered speed dating?
←Rate | 09-13-2010 14:32 by jdpower Comments (3)  




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