aaron Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Am I getting older or is the supermarket starting to play some great songs?
←Rate | 09-05-2013 17:43 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's funny how many streets are named for the kind of trees chopped down to pave them.
←Rate | 08-31-2013 18:50 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
←Rate | 08-30-2013 09:16 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon It really isn't a good idea to be left with your own thoughts. I just had a long discussion with myself. We both agreed
←Rate | 08-28-2013 17:29 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pick up artists and garbage men should switch names.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 19:47 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
←Rate | 08-24-2013 10:41 by Aaron Comments (1)  


   messageicon I think my mind has lost me.
←Rate | 08-23-2013 14:16 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I'll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
←Rate | 08-11-2013 11:52 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....
←Rate | 07-31-2013 16:24 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your perception of me is a reflection of you.
←Rate | 07-30-2013 08:08 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon i check every shaving cream can for dinosaur embryos.
←Rate | 07-29-2013 12:03 by Aaron Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you're feeling powerless just remember a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water park.
←Rate | 07-16-2013 17:28 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unless I missed an international news story, the TV show "Finding Bigfoot" should probably be called "Not Finding Bigfoot"
←Rate | 07-16-2013 17:27 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
←Rate | 07-16-2013 17:20 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals
←Rate | 07-11-2013 12:09 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope the word ‘berserk’ appears at least once in my obituary.
←Rate | 07-10-2013 22:08 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really wanted to remarry the woman I divorced a year ago, but she said I was only after my money.
←Rate | 07-10-2013 13:47 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hold your horses. It's hard realizing you're a horse and not a unicorn or a zebra. Console your horses. Tell them they're good enough.
←Rate | 07-10-2013 11:29 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel most at one with my phone when I can see that it's desperately searching too.
←Rate | 07-07-2013 08:41 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aquariums are a place where fish get to watch you for free but it comes at the price of never leaving
←Rate | 07-03-2013 23:16 by Aaron Comments (0)  




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