Nipper Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The voices in my head have been quite for a while. They probably broke something.
←Rate | 01-30-2014 17:14 by Nipper Comments (2)  


   messageicon Be careful when you're thmoking a metal bowl in thub thero temperaturths.
←Rate | 01-28-2014 13:22 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbours diary say's I have boundary issues.
←Rate | 01-28-2014 06:43 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist's finger before she stops believing that you're doing it accidentally.
←Rate | 01-25-2014 16:56 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon I actually feel bad for Justin Bieber. No girl should have to take a picture without her makeup on
←Rate | 01-23-2014 16:36 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not sure if my doctor is a righty or a lefty but I'm pretty sure he shouldn't have had both on my shoulders during that prostate exam.
←Rate | 01-18-2014 09:57 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'Pizza Hut, can I take your order?' Me: 'May I speak with the owl, please? ''Who?' Me: 'Hahaha, that never gets old! Large pepperoni.'
←Rate | 01-18-2014 09:54 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I'd be a pretty considerate cannibal, even if I were constipated I wouldn't force your hand.
←Rate | 01-15-2014 16:23 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had to explain the Goonies today... so I'm feeling super old and bitter.
←Rate | 01-15-2014 16:11 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.
←Rate | 01-15-2014 15:35 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon For future reference, farmers get super pissed if you sneak onto their property & chase their livestock with a Taser. It’s been a good day.
←Rate | 01-11-2014 13:25 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon During filming of an episode of 'Happy Days' in 1976, The Fonz had a stroke causing him to say "Eyyyyyyyy" for 4 months straight.
←Rate | 01-07-2014 17:23 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today a homeless man stuck a hand out at me and said 'spare change'His hand was empty, I think the pr!ck was teasing me, so I took his dog
←Rate | 12-17-2013 07:16 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon I took a poll recently, and 100% of strippers were angry they had nothing to dance on.
←Rate | 12-13-2013 12:35 by Nipper Comments (0)  




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