aaron Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I think NASCAR would be fun if they added a 92-year old driving the opposite way in a Duster.
←Rate | 08-01-2010 00:40 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not that the elderly drive badly. It's just that they're the only ones with the time to do the speed limit.
←Rate | 08-01-2010 00:43 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I live and yearn.
←Rate | 08-01-2010 00:47 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Honey, remember to address the dog as "Dr." Scruffy. We didn't pay for eight years of post-grad obedience school for nothing.
←Rate | 08-01-2010 00:48 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really hope cell phones aren't bad for us, but I would like the excuse: 'I can't talk right now. You're giving me cancer.'
←Rate | 08-01-2010 00:50 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon GET TO THE CHOPPER!!
←Rate | 08-01-2010 01:58 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm officially changing my TV remote's name to Waldo.
←Rate | 08-01-2010 14:51 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do whales eat? Fish and ships.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 00:30 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a thought, then it smiled and waved goodbye.
←Rate | 08-03-2010 15:07 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time to put on my best sexual harrassment suit. It's much like my birthday suit, just... Okay, it's exactly like my birthday suit.
←Rate | 08-03-2010 15:45 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drugs give me the confidence to do things I never thought possible. Like, lead police on a 12 hour high speed chase.
←Rate | 08-03-2010 21:41 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon You guys, this is my first ever facebook status update sent from a toilet. Did I do good?
←Rate | 08-04-2010 17:39 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon On the Electrician's Truck... "Let Us Remove Your Shorts"
←Rate | 08-05-2010 12:49 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scientists say we use only 10% of our brain. Imagine how much better the world would be if we started using the other 60%.
←Rate | 08-10-2010 10:16 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon My gift horse is facing the wrong way
←Rate | 08-11-2010 00:19 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is often said cooking is an art. But I have very few meals that I would hang on my wall.
←Rate | 08-12-2010 23:38 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.
←Rate | 08-12-2010 23:39 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q. What do you call a French man in sandals? A. Philippe Philoppe
←Rate | 08-13-2010 13:23 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Profiling: when police stop only the cars that are driving on the sidewalk.
←Rate | 08-17-2010 14:00 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon it possible that at Brett Favre's age he just keeps forgetting he retired?
←Rate | 08-17-2010 21:59 by Aaron Comments (0)  




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