Yaj Funny Status Messages

   "Hi Kids! Wanna see how I lost all this weight playing hide the salami? And you might get to see my footlong!!! (which is actually 11")

   I didn't realize the AIDS epidemic was so bad, they say one in every two and a half men have it

   Shoutout to ATM fees for making me buy my own money

   In the dog world, humans are elves that routinely live to be 500+ years old.

   Today I heard a guy on the street say, 'It's chowder season, baby!' so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words

   Never criticise your husband's faults. It may have been those little imperfections which stopped him from getting a better wife.

   It was nice to see Rose from the Titanic do the coin toss..

   It's probably called almond milk because nut juice doesn't sound as enticing..

   Congrats Khloe Kardashian! You're father was granted parole!

   I am "I remember when Saturday Night Live Was Funny" years old.

   I wear a mask. I'm vaccinated. You other inbreds our there in the midwest driving around your pickup trucks with 3 teeth and a mullet can contract the virus, spread it to your family and have the whole lot of them cease to breathe.

   My favorite bible verse is Lunch 12:45