SEAN Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'SEAN': View All Messages
Page: 6 of 38

   messageicon Had dinner with a girl tonight! Ok so maybe she was on the tv, but we were eating at the same time so I'm counting it.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 17:16 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Satan came to me today and asked if he frieghtened me, I said no- not in the least bit, I said I used to be married to your sister...
←Rate | 10-31-2011 08:10 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love deer season, Especially when I am driving alone in my Blazer , it's amazing how fast I purposely turn into a Comacazi pilot when I see a deer in the middle of the road-
←Rate | 11-01-2011 15:27 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not one to brag about my Press exposure but yes, it's true what they're saying in my local paper. I am selling my couch
←Rate | 11-01-2011 16:12 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon What was longer.... Kim Kardashian's marriage or theTrick-or-Treat line outside of Casey Anthony's house?
←Rate | 11-01-2011 16:13 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Speaking from experience, No More Tears shampoo does not work as advertised if you drop the bottle on a baby's face.
←Rate | 11-01-2011 16:13 by sean Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don't use words like "East."
←Rate | 11-01-2011 16:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Since when did remembering names become such a thing? I think I offended dog face girl, again.
←Rate | 11-01-2011 16:21 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough.
←Rate | 11-01-2011 16:22 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not a fan of stupid conspiracy theories, but I'm fully aware that Governments slow down time on weekdays & speed it up on weekends.
←Rate | 11-01-2011 16:23 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Had to take a drug test on my lunch break for my life insurance policy, the lady told me that I passed and asked me why I look so angry, I told her that my dealer has some explaining to do now....
←Rate | 11-02-2011 17:51 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you're genuinely surprised about Kim Kardashian getting divorced, I need to tell you something about Santa Claus...
←Rate | 11-03-2011 10:54 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on things. Anyone considered that perhaps it's the scientists that aren't washing their hands?
←Rate | 11-03-2011 17:39 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you can text with both hands at the same time, you are Ambi-Textual.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 09:52 by sean Comments (0)  

   messageicon With only one plug in this hospital room it's not looking good for Nana's respirator if my phone battery dies and I have another AWESOME face book status update .
←Rate | 11-07-2011 13:55 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 13:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have a six figure salary. Unfortunately, all six figures are to the right of the decimal point.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 14:02 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.
←Rate | 11-16-2011 11:14 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'd just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.
←Rate | 11-16-2011 13:34 by SEAN Comments (0)  

   messageicon Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance,' with a face like that!
←Rate | 11-16-2011 13:35 by SEAN Comments (0)  

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left