Nipper Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Spice things up during family dinners this holiday season by slamming your wine glass down and demanding "What do you people want from me!?"
←Rate | 12-24-2015 09:23 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon When eating her from behind you know you're doing it correctly if her bhole pinches your nose closed.
←Rate | 01-03-2016 15:16 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon My kid thinks I'm some kind of wizard because I can start a car by blowing in a tube.
←Rate | 01-20-2016 05:59 by Nipper Comments (3)  


   messageicon I think we should line up all the presidential candidates and see which one a dog doesn't bark at. That person should become president.
←Rate | 01-26-2016 13:49 by Nipper Comments (3)  


   messageicon When I'm down to my last bit of weed, I like to take my time and savor the thought of who will be my first stabbing victim.
←Rate | 02-02-2016 15:41 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon In 15 years' time a girl with a Brazilian won't mean a neatly trimmed vag, it'll be a head shaped like a rugby ball.
←Rate | 02-04-2016 14:52 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon The one thing about this group of presidential candidates that we can all agree on is that none of them are fuckable.
←Rate | 02-15-2016 12:53 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon How long is sexual healing supposed to take because I came in this one three times and she's still in a coma.
←Rate | 03-17-2016 16:32 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used my removable shower head to wash under my beard, so I get it girls. I get it.
←Rate | 03-25-2016 15:25 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon I cannot wait to interrupt Kanye West's eulogy.
←Rate | 03-26-2016 06:11 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
←Rate | 03-26-2016 06:20 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::...:::::
←Rate | 04-10-2016 05:28 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe she's born with spit. Maybe it's Vaseline.
←Rate | 05-01-2016 06:45 by Nipper Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trust me, don't get Guinea Pigs. They're a lot of work for relatively little meat.
←Rate | 06-20-2016 07:24 by Nipper Comments (0)  



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