Abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I love hearing rumors because they tell me things about myself I didn't know before.
←Rate | 03-01-2011 11:43 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The amount of sleep required by the average person is just five minutes more...
←Rate | 03-01-2011 11:45 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Charlie Sheen is Kenny Powers with more money.
←Rate | 03-01-2011 14:23 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country...It's a whole different way of thinking.
←Rate | 03-01-2011 15:06 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can no longer "drop it like it's hot", so I "squat like it's warm".
←Rate | 03-01-2011 20:14 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want me to go running with you, I'm going to need some motivation...Like a clown waving a bloody knife and chasing us.
←Rate | 03-02-2011 21:15 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drinking doesn't make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them...
←Rate | 03-02-2011 21:16 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm waiting till the iPad 1,473 comes out because it will fly you to the moon while you surf the internet.
←Rate | 03-02-2011 21:24 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drinking doesn't make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them...
←Rate | 03-02-2011 21:29 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon While most people are becoming older and wiser, I'm becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
←Rate | 03-02-2011 21:35 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got pulled over after making a wrong turn at a donut shop... The cop walked up to the window and said, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Without hesitation I responded; "(pointing to the box) Cause you can smell it"
←Rate | 03-03-2011 13:00 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were you, I'd get a red nose and some big shoes and call it a day.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 13:12 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The way some people find fault, you'd think there was some kind of reward.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 13:13 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life's best lessons are learned at the worst times.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 18:03 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd really like to find the person that named the sensitive part of your elbow the "Funny Bone" and punch them in the face. See how funny they think that is.
←Rate | 03-04-2011 11:35 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don't check their phone for 3 hours.
←Rate | 03-04-2011 11:37 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Blackberries are like girls, they only work when you rub one little button. iPhones are like men. One touch, anywhere and they respond.
←Rate | 03-04-2011 17:53 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm thinking about going out tonight, because the Beastie Boys fought and nearly died for my right to party...
←Rate | 03-04-2011 17:55 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided to get rid of my bad habits...just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 21:34 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one Fish cant Drown.
←Rate | 03-06-2011 01:12 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  




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