g0re Funny Status Messages

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Page: 6 of 28

   messageicon Nobody likes the guy who stands in the corner of the elevator, hoarding the buttons. Then he asks; what floor? And he smiles, like he's doing you a favor. I WANNA HIT THE BUTTON.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 22:39 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Theres always that cart at walmart with an oval wheel. I'm all like "I wanna go look at games!" but its like "Nah b!tch, we're going to produce"
←Rate | 12-23-2011 14:43 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon How do you keep a blonde occupied for a few hours? Tell her to count the stairs on an escalator.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 04:35 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon In the end, girls really just want one thing from guys, all of our hoodies.
←Rate | 11-15-2011 02:36 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Only 12 % of the earths population can solve this in 30 seconds. Say the 0pposite of these words: 1) always 2) coming 3) from 4) take 5) me 6) down
←Rate | 12-21-2011 04:19 by g0re Comments (2)  

   messageicon Why can't rappers just say nice things? Like, “I wanna take your clothes off and hang them up in the closet real nice."
←Rate | 10-12-2011 18:37 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Shower = 27 min. 2min. = Wash and rinse body. 25 min. = Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe.
←Rate | 12-09-2011 01:11 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon We all have that one facebook friend that acts like it's their job to keep everyone updated on the weather, current events, and other meaningless sh!t with their status.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 16:34 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon How come we always hear about what's happening on Wall Street and Main Street. What about what's happening on Sesame Street? People live in trash cans there.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 17:57 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's one of life's cruel tricks that by the time you're old enough to afford a flashy sports car, you look ridiculous driving it.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 19:33 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes when you watch Jersey Shore or Keeping Up With the Kardshians, you can feel your brain cells dying.
←Rate | 10-21-2011 02:06 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you truly understand me, you'll let me be annoying.
←Rate | 10-05-2011 17:11 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's always that one person who's life you can watch fall apart through facebook statuse$
←Rate | 11-26-2011 20:59 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's a facebook status, not an opportunity to spill your whole life story and look for everybody's pity
←Rate | 11-26-2011 20:59 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Trix commercials just teach kids that sharing is bad.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 17:54 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It is important to be thankful for little things in life. Like the fact that the world doesn't make a strange creaking noise when it rotates on its axis.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 21:52 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon You think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 17:50 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon “One man's trash is another man's treasure” is an awesome phrase, but it's a horrible way to tell your kid they're adopted.
←Rate | 10-21-2011 09:28 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just because you attract a lot of nasty skanks does not mean you're a stud. It means that your own kind recognizes you.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 17:51 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon life is too ironic to understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is, Noise to appreciate silence, and absence to value presence.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 23:20 by g0re Comments (0)  

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