SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life
←Rate | 06-06-2012 18:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not the only one that drives to work hoping its a crime scene, am I?
←Rate | 09-29-2011 21:49 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, I'm telling you why: you're 11 years old and you have an iPhone, you little sh!t.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 09:54 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about calling in for a sick day is the pressure of knowing you only have one shot to do the "I'm sick" voice.
←Rate | 02-28-2012 10:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sitting here watching thousands of dollars worth of food be thrown away on Hell's Kitchen while I eat my Ramen.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 14:40 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon In grade school it's called bullying but when you get older it's referred to as upper level management.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 13:36 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Selecting a menu item at a Mexican restaurant is easy once you decide how many times you want your food folded.
←Rate | 03-07-2012 10:20 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)  


   messageicon I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow but I'm going to be too busy sitting on mine.
←Rate | 03-24-2012 10:17 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The Force" is weird. How come a Jedi can detect a planet being destroyed light years away but can't tell he is kissing his own sister?
←Rate | 11-21-2011 09:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I should probably press charges on myself after the shower I just took.
←Rate | 01-20-2012 16:50 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drinks at the bar should be served in capri sun-like pouches, and if you can't get the straw in then they cut you off.
←Rate | 07-30-2011 14:27 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.
←Rate | 07-11-2011 12:09 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the life of me, I can't understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
←Rate | 05-28-2012 12:17 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Ever want to click on someones status and edit it for them?
←Rate | 10-11-2011 11:37 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex for Hugh Hefner at his age must be like shooting pool with a rope.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 14:05 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon 10 million people share the same birthday as you. Your personalized horoscope means sh!t.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 11:09 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you watch Godzilla backwards its about a dinosaur who passionately pieces a city back together before moonwalking into the sea.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 09:37 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love the word "Allegedly". You can make up anything about anyone without any reprisal... allegedly.
←Rate | 03-20-2012 09:38 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish one of the walls in my bedroom was a giant Lite-Brite.
←Rate | 10-20-2011 10:07 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever look around the room at your family and think to yourself "it's amazing I turned out as good as I did." Then realize you said it aloud?
←Rate | 12-25-2011 14:45 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  




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