SEAN Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon "I bet you I can get people to buy the shirt from a game they don't even know how to play." -Ralph Lauren
←Rate | 03-29-2013 10:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I made cars I'd put an inflatable shark in place of an airbag in 1 out of every 100 cars just for fun.
←Rate | 12-08-2012 10:00 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon A source says Snooki is pregnant and the Republican candidates suddenly switch their stance on abortion.
←Rate | 03-01-2012 15:30 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once I'd like a doctor to tell me I'm not getting enough beer in my diet.
←Rate | 01-22-2015 11:15 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite Black Friday tradition is watching the day's Walmart tramplings on the evening news.
←Rate | 11-19-2012 15:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why isnt there any black friday deals at the liquir store....
←Rate | 11-23-2012 08:27 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are under house arrest but live in a mobile home can you go anywhere you want?
←Rate | 11-29-2011 09:49 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Are you even listening to me?" is a weird way for my wife to start a conversation.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:36 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not one to brag about my Press exposure but yes, it's true what they're saying in my local paper. I am selling my couch
←Rate | 11-01-2011 16:12 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Found an old playboy from the 70's last night, I wonder why they didnt call it hair club for men...
←Rate | 04-19-2012 09:46 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon the good news is the doctor says I'm healthy as a horse, the bad news is she still uses large farm animals to describe me....
←Rate | 02-29-2016 06:33 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The NFL is taking it's crackdown on violence so seriously, the refs are now using rape whistles.
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one will think you're boring if you walk around all day wearing a deployed parachute
←Rate | 04-11-2014 15:42 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying she's a slut.... but she got fired from the sperm bank for drinking on the job ..
←Rate | 04-03-2017 16:36 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon It takes all of my self control for me not to write, "you sure about that?" under Facebook engagement announcements.
←Rate | 09-06-2013 09:01 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn't enough
←Rate | 02-08-2012 15:25 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hunters, you shouldn't wear camo you should dress like cars. Deer will walk toward you and hope you kill them.
←Rate | 06-19-2012 08:42 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if Bruce/Catline Jenner goes missing, will they put the picture on a carton of Half & Half?
←Rate | 07-22-2015 10:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't sign anything without pretending to read it first.
←Rate | 09-06-2013 09:08 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet cats are mad they can’t sit on televisions anymore.
←Rate | 03-05-2013 08:45 by SEAN Comments (0)  



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