KISSTOPHER Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I've tried everything to get to sleep. Well, except that thing where you shut off your phone and close your eyes, but let's not get crazy.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 13:26 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some people pride themselves on their hard work. I pride myself on doing so little and yet keeping my job.
←Rate | 02-14-2013 13:59 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every girl wants to be the one that makes a player quit the game. But sometimes that's like being the zebra that wants to turn a lion into a vegetarian.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 12:08 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love doggie style as much as the next guy, but sometimes she's just too pretty to do from behind.
←Rate | 06-17-2012 10:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's funny how some people think they can fool me when I ignore their calls and they call me with a private number 5 minutes later. You really think I am that stupid? I know it's YOU.
←Rate | 08-01-2011 04:36 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes I look at what someone is wearing and I can't help but think, "did you give up on life?"
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:31 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every guy has a soft sensitive side. It's called “I need to get laid and I'll say and do anything to make it happen”
←Rate | 11-16-2012 07:37 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon If someone tells you their horoscope says they're going to have a good day, it's your duty as a human being to punch them in the throat and prove them wrong.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 12:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you love someone, set them fee. If they don't come back, call them up later when you're drunk.
←Rate | 03-26-2012 14:21 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...
←Rate | 09-17-2012 08:18 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 12:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you're fat when you run out of breath eating.
←Rate | 08-31-2011 02:47 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ladies: A good man can make you feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world...oh sorry thats does that.
←Rate | 02-12-2012 12:39 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon In my lifetime I have learnt that women, who appear quiet, shy and innocent looking in public are actually the biggest freaks behind closed doors.
←Rate | 08-14-2011 07:13 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today is world animal day...let's all take a moment of silence... and remember our Ex's
←Rate | 04-14-2011 03:25 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon The liquor store is a great place to meet new friends.
←Rate | 09-19-2012 10:13 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Studies show that your chances of getting murdered drop down significantly when you STFU and mind your own business.
←Rate | 07-25-2012 15:14 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whatever happened to that little girl from The Ring, did she grow up to be Kristen Stewart?
←Rate | 09-13-2012 06:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you love someone truly and unconditionally, age, distance, bank balance, height or weight is just a damn number.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 02:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Oh, let's play that love game where you ignore me constantly and it kills me inside, then I start ignoring you too and it gets your attention!
←Rate | 09-24-2012 13:40 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

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