KISSTOPHER Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If someone tells you their horoscope says they're going to have a good day, it's your duty as a human being to punch them in the throat and prove them wrong.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 12:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...
←Rate | 09-17-2012 08:18 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love someone, set them fee. If they don't come back, call them up later when you're drunk.
←Rate | 03-26-2012 14:21 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
←Rate | 04-24-2011 12:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies: A good man can make you feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world...oh sorry thats wine...wine does that.
←Rate | 02-12-2012 12:39 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're fat when you run out of breath eating.
←Rate | 08-31-2011 02:47 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if random erections are actually ninja handjobs?
←Rate | 01-15-2012 13:35 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who do I speak to about quitting adulthood?
←Rate | 10-19-2012 08:45 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think all women who say, "All men are Jerks" mean to say, "All the men I chose to date are jerks" or put simply, "I am attracted to jerks"
←Rate | 05-17-2011 13:07 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎"Give it to me!" she said, "I'm so wet, give it to me right now!" And I replied, “Screw you, it's my umbrella!”
←Rate | 04-29-2012 12:22 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my lifetime I have learnt that women, who appear quiet, shy and innocent looking in public are actually the biggest freaks behind closed doors.
←Rate | 08-14-2011 07:13 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is world animal day...let's all take a moment of silence... and remember our Ex's
←Rate | 04-14-2011 03:25 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The liquor store is a great place to meet new friends.
←Rate | 09-19-2012 10:13 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whatever happened to that little girl from The Ring, did she grow up to be Kristen Stewart?
←Rate | 09-13-2012 06:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Studies show that your chances of getting murdered drop down significantly when you STFU and mind your own business.
←Rate | 07-25-2012 15:14 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you love someone truly and unconditionally, age, distance, bank balance, height or weight is just a damn number.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 02:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best time to give kids advice is when they're still young enough to believe you.
←Rate | 05-05-2012 11:38 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If coffee or booze can't fix it, then it's a serious problem.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 13:44 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, let's play that love game where you ignore me constantly and it kills me inside, then I start ignoring you too and it gets your attention!
←Rate | 09-24-2012 13:40 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon At least this apocalypse and rapture debacle has conclusively proven one significant fact: We are not alone! We have idiots living among us!
←Rate | 05-22-2011 05:38 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  




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