Jake Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon thinks throwback week is almost as much fun as post your bra color week.
←Rate | 01-13-2010 19:25 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your wife tells you that your right. Is that sarcasm?
←Rate | 10-23-2017 19:51 by Jake Comments (2)  

   messageicon For Halloween I'm going to wear a t-shrit with the word life on it and hand out lemons.
←Rate | 10-09-2017 22:59 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can not use the 5 second rule when you drop a hotdog on the floor if you have a 3 second dog.
←Rate | 08-27-2017 18:20 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Read a book on how to have a happy marriage. It stated to treat your wife the way you did while dating her. So after dinner tonight I'll drop her off at her parents house.
←Rate | 01-20-2018 23:38 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
←Rate | 10-29-2017 01:37 by JAKE Comments (0)  

   messageicon don't drink and drive, you could spill the beer in your car.
←Rate | 04-20-2009 10:41 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon During my vacation, I learned alot about my self. The main thing I learned was, not to take another vacation.
←Rate | 08-27-2017 21:36 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whife ask what's the thing about a bj. I said the five minutes of silence.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 20:17 by Jake Comments (1)  

   messageicon Rude is saying STFU. Polite is saying please STFU.
←Rate | 11-03-2017 21:05 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon 's Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird. Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away.
←Rate | 01-26-2010 07:34 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Make sure to put the letter "L" in the word clocks when you google grandfather clocks.
←Rate | 01-27-2018 18:35 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon How did cavemen meet women? They went clubbing.
←Rate | 12-27-2017 18:29 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon When a wife's deadbeat husband died. She had him cremated and his ashes placed in a 24 hour, hour-glass. He's now working 24/7 for eternity.
←Rate | 10-12-2017 02:28 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon My dog is not a good guard dog, so I replaced him. I really feel stupid barking at the postman.
←Rate | 02-10-2018 17:23 by Jake Comments (1)  

   messageicon My wife is so fat, she eats a snack between snacks.
←Rate | 10-16-2017 18:08 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife is so fat, that she only needs a cup of water in the tub to take a bath.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 19:12 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon If there are three ducks on a pond and you shoot one how many would be left on the pond? None. The other two would fly away after hearing the gun shot.
←Rate | 10-14-2017 22:23 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Being a human cannibal is the only job where you can be fired evey day and still keep your job :)
←Rate | 02-16-2018 20:54 by Jake Comments (1)  

   messageicon Neighbor are the only one who lissen to both side of an argument.
←Rate | 01-11-2018 20:45 by Jake Comments (0)  

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