Czovczov Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon No matter how fast you run, michael myers will walk faster.
←Rate | 11-12-2011 12:52 by Czovczov Comments (1)  


   messageicon When I exercise at the gym, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.
←Rate | 03-07-2012 13:32 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dogs: OMG YOU'RE HOME! I LOVE YOU!!! Cats: greetings human. as you may have noticed, my food bowl is empty...fill it..I'll be on the couch.
←Rate | 03-28-2013 05:13 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come people that should never be allowed to reproduce have the most kids?
←Rate | 01-30-2012 08:14 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon One man's Facebook crush is probably another man's nagging wife or girlfriend.
←Rate | 12-27-2012 08:02 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're never too old to throw random sh*t in people's shopping carts when they aren't looking.
←Rate | 09-21-2013 10:35 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they keep records of people who died due to alcohol, but not the records of people who were born thanks to it?
←Rate | 02-21-2012 12:45 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love myself, I'm just not "post pictures of myself everyday on Facebook" love myself.
←Rate | 04-19-2013 12:28 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm getting really tired of having to remind my wife she's happily married.
←Rate | 08-07-2015 01:44 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The last time I left my girlfriend it took her two weeks to notice I was gone. Next time I'm taking all her shoes with me.
←Rate | 10-01-2014 14:00 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are you all so excited it's Friday? Monday will be here in 5 minutes.
←Rate | 02-22-2013 12:50 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't have a drinking problem; people without arms have a drinking problem.
←Rate | 01-08-2012 05:29 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new day doesn't officially start until you take a shower.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 06:39 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to the police, public masturbation is not considered a "street performance". Even if you have a hat on the ground on front of you.
←Rate | 04-12-2014 03:39 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.
←Rate | 12-02-2013 06:49 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon She tried keeping up with the Kardashians, but now it burns when she pees.
←Rate | 02-22-2013 08:45 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex said she left me because of my short attention span. Unbeknownst to her I actually…damn that’s a cool ass word right? Unbeknownst.
←Rate | 02-08-2013 12:32 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why pay to watch the new Twilight movie when setting yourself on fire is free?
←Rate | 12-28-2012 10:08 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd rather run a marathon than listen to someone talk about running a marathon.
←Rate | 07-15-2013 14:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lucky for you there seems to be no shortage of people willing to settle for less than they deserve.
←Rate | 10-04-2012 13:48 by Czovczov Comments (0)  




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