CJ Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Somewhere out there, someone's grandma's recipe for dill bread reads ".. allow dill dough to rise".
←Rate | 03-02-2011 10:31 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Doh!, the stuff that buys me beer, Ray, the guy who sells me beer, Me, the one who drinks the beer.Far, a long run to get beer, So, I'll have another beer, La, I'll have another beer, Tea, no thanks I'm drinking beer and that's why I'm not here! "
←Rate | 09-08-2009 19:03 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
←Rate | 01-07-2010 15:39 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning but now how it applies to me.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:29 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
←Rate | 02-21-2011 11:59 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the Husband, sharks for the husbands mother.
←Rate | 04-17-2011 11:04 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon My karma punch card is going to be full after today:)
←Rate | 04-24-2012 19:09 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
←Rate | 02-21-2010 10:38 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon It takes 10 people to change a lightbulb because 9 of us are on Facebook.
←Rate | 06-30-2009 12:41 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say humans evolved from apes but there are some people who make you reconsider.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 16:05 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon How do you keep a New Orleans Saint out of your yard? Put up goal posts.
←Rate | 02-07-2010 15:07 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon “Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.”
←Rate | 06-19-2010 15:12 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary form.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 15:35 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon No one can do everything, BUT everyone can do something!!!
←Rate | 11-24-2010 14:02 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon I asked the Magic ❽ Ball if I was going to clean the house today and it said, Signs point to yes. Sh*t I hate when it says
←Rate | 06-28-2010 20:36 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
←Rate | 02-21-2010 10:34 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
←Rate | 02-21-2010 10:31 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say, "You are what you eat" That's funny. I don't remember eating a sexy beast this morning.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 11:35 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything, and everybody believed in you?
←Rate | 10-24-2011 19:51 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon He always has the same expression on his face; “only a mother could love.”
←Rate | 04-22-2010 16:03 by cj Comments (0)  

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