Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5928 of 6370
Skinny jeans is like a cheap motel..... NO BALL ROOM!!!!
←Rate |
05-12-2010 00:34
Comments (0)
I don't care if you lick windows, take the special bus or occasionally pee on yourself.. You hang in there sunshine, you're friggin' special
←Rate |
05-11-2010 23:46
Comments (0)
I love you in a "leave me alone" kinda way!
Troy McClure. You might remember me from such drivers ed films as "Alice's Adventures Through The Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of LarryLeadfoot."
←Rate |
05-11-2010 22:20
Comments (0)
Politicians should serve two terms. One in office, one in prison
←Rate |
05-11-2010 21:18
Comments (0)
Why do banks leave both doors open but they chain the pens to the counter?
←Rate |
05-11-2010 21:14
Comments (0)
had fun going to a Target store with a red shirt on the other day. And no, I did not have to do clean up on Aisle Eleven !
←Rate |
05-11-2010 21:12 by yeti
Comments (0)
Here kitty kitty, Screaming at the can of food will not make it open by itself.
←Rate |
05-11-2010 21:11
Comments (0)
NASCAR: Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks
←Rate |
05-11-2010 21:08
Comments (0)
Nothing is sweeter than finding out that the cute boy who dumped you in the 12th grade lives in his mother's basement.
←Rate |
05-11-2010 21:04
Comments (0)
Food eaten while preparing other food has no calories.
←Rate |
05-11-2010 21:03
Comments (0)
Make friends with your hormones. They're what make you colorful and unpredictable.
←Rate |
05-11-2010 21:02
Comments (0)
whoever said "never regret" obviously never had taco bell
←Rate |
05-11-2010 20:00
Comments (0)
If wishes and buts were candy and nuts, Obama supporters would have the White House filled with pimps and sluts
←Rate |
05-11-2010 19:54 by one
Comments (0)
If BP needs a giant box to contain all the oil, they can call any of my ex-girlfriends.
It's a shame how so many of you have such nice, expensive, in many cases even brand new cars and yet the turn signals don't seem to work.
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:36 by Joser
Comments (0)
If it weren't for my feet I don't know how I'd ever shut the car door.
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:33 by Joser
Comments (0)
Do I even want to know how one would contract herpes of the eye?
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:32 by Joser
Comments (0)
remember..we are all just human...except Ryan Seacrest...he's a midget alien from Mars.
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:28
Comments (0)
I am anxious about how much Xanax I'm taking.
←Rate |
05-11-2010 17:26 by Joser
Comments (0)